♥B.elloveyouuuuh

2009-09-28T03:05:00.001+08:00

Sorry!
I have moved to www.bell.onsugar.com
Please re-link & tag me over there!

Thankyou:D

Lovelove.

Perhaps we had never understood you?

2009-09-27T16:18:00.002+08:00

I am not supposed to be at home now, I should be on my way out already lah! But, I knew the guys would be late, so I dontwant to end up waiting for them either. Hehe:D I guess i will be super late, and they wil screw me up later lah, but I just have the urge to blog.
Ahdon talked to me last night on the phone, about some unpleasant stuff that happen-ed between the clique, it didnt much affected me @ the start, but its starting to affect me now.
Names will not be mention, but you jolly well knows who i am talking about.
#01: We all know that you're a spoilt bratz, we all knows and had already been living w the fact but sometimes I really think that you're abit too much. Seriously, how can you all the time demand Ahdon not to do this&that, while you're doing this&that? Whenever you quarrell w Ahdon, all you do is turn off your phone and make people worried about you and end up, everybody is screwing Ahdon up because he made you angry, and you turn off your phone and we cant contact you. To me, its never Ahdon's fault, YOU turn off your phone, not Ahdon turn off your phone, so why should other scold AHDON when it was YOU who fxcking turn off your phone? #02: Many times you asked people why does people prefers * than you, let me tell you the answer today, because you're behaving like a small kid all the time, demanding for this and that, having the thought that we should all give in to you, and when you say A, you will do B instead. While * is different from you, she doesnt demands things all the time, she gives in, and she means what she says. YOU wanted us to advise you, and when Ahdon did, giving you the answer that you didnt want to hear, you will start venting your anger. Wtf is this? I had been keeping quiet because they said that you're still young but I think you should know what is wrong w you, start changing before you loses anyone.
Even if you feel unhappy with what I have said, by all means come to me and I will explain it in details on your face. I am saying this not to discourage you or add salt unto your wound, but I hope you start being fair to yourself and also, Ahdon. Dont be so ignorant, and start losing people who really loves and cares for you. Takecare!

Byebye, I off to Bugis already.

2009-09-27T07:01:00.001+08:00

I am too lazy to blog today.
Gave Syafiq Peter's house a missed today because I slept at 8am in the morning and went work, late! Feeling so excited about tmr's outing with Zhiquan and co. Heheh, alright I shall head to rest first and update w pictures the next time. Promise, :D

Lovelove, takecare world.

Jerad, i am trying. Seeyou soon!

But, 3weeks seems like 3 years to me.

2009-09-26T06:18:00.002+08:00

I had been suffering from insomnia lately, real bad ones. Causing me to have headaches during work, which sucks big time I swear. Okay, i mention that I was supposed to meet Joker on Wednesday @ Bishan, Andrew, Kiki, Edmund and Chanel was there too. They waited for like 1-hour for me, and Joker kept complaining. Well, its not too late to know that I am always the late-queen. HAHA. And, we didnt get to take pictures because it slipped off my mind.

Thurs,
I went to Ahdon's court, woke up by Kejin's call. Rush-ed down, thank God I made it in time. Because the court was postponed. And, we got know a news, that was so unexpected. However, at least we can still celebrate Zhiquan's birthday on 2nd Oct, Ahdon and Darren's birthday on 10th oct and Jerad's birthday on 1st Nov before their court on 18th Nov. We're aware of their sentence already, the judge allowed them to take their exams first before they serve their 3 weeks sentence in remand. I can't help but teared and scolded Ahdon, I really tried my best to hold back my tears. Went to work early, I managed not to bring my emotions to work. Went home, and cried real bad when I browse thru the pictures w Ahdon, I really cant help. Text-ed Ahdon&Darren a 5page msg, but I still feel that its not enough. I had so much to say, really. Text-ed Zhiquan to complain too, didnt have Jerad's number so I couldnt text him. HAHA.

Fri,
Woke up early, prepared and headed to work. Ahdon came over to find me, I cant help but to feel heartache for him. Ahdon is sick, and he must get well before he go in. And, before his birthday too. I almost teared while talking to Grace bout that skinny bones. But, I managed to hold back my tears. Sigh, and I cant sleep until now! Headed to Ahdear's place after he ended work, andand here I am blogging! [: I could had finished blogging earlier, if Ahdear didnt disturbed me. RAH.

Sat,
I will be heading to find Syafiq Peter @ Bedok with Darren and probably some secondary school friends in the morning if I can wake up and nothing goes wrong. Haha, I need to work @ 6pm today andand, I will enjoy my off-day on sunday! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~ I will just spend my off-days before losing them for 3 god-damn weeks. Sigh, alright I shall head to rest now. Goodnight world.

Ahdon,
among all of my loved ones who went in, I never thought that you will end up going in also. My heart aches so much for you, I can feel your heart's crying deep down even thou you tried so hard to smie, to make us happy. I know, I understand how you feel. You are not a burden to me at all, I am going to wait even if I will be waiting alone. I will promise you to be good, to be happy for that 3weeks but i will miss you. We had never been apart for more than 1week, but we're soon going to be away from one another for 3weeks. I really wonder, who am I supposed to call to complain when I am upset/angry? Who am I supposed to call to share my joy w for that 3weeks? Who is going to work w me, and disturb me during work? Who is going to make sure i have my meals everyday? Ahdon, I really cant imagine 3weeks without you... Really.

Darren,
thou we might not be so closed like before, but I am going to miss you real bad. I will miss you disturbing me, calling me to talk nonsense, trying all your stupid ways to get cig from me. And, your fights w Ahdon whenever we're out. I will miss the times we had together. The dreams we have not yet fulfilled. Sigh, I will miss you real bad.

Zhiquan,
Sigh! Nobody will slap himself to make me happy for 3weeks. Nobody will buy carrot cake/coke for me anymore... nobody will just sit beside me and listen to me complain anymore, nobody will allow me to take stupid videos of him for 3weeks. nobody will make me happy when i am upset, sigh. nobody will. make sure you come out in 3weeks time, orelse i dontknow what might happen to me.

Jerad,
Please make sure you come out and have fun as promised. Remember we promised to go out, on our pay-day? I will be saving money, waiting for you guys to come out.

Ahdon, Darren, Zhiquan and Jerad.
Please make sure you all come out in 3 weeks time! Sigh, we've so much to do together yet. Remember our zoo trip? Our cruise trip? Sigh, hurry hurry!

Chanel, will relink you soon.
Sharon, okokay! will relink you soon.
Js' , hah! Read-ed!

Why does everyone have to leave?

2009-09-23T19:08:00.002+08:00

I had been living with regrets that I didnt treasured my time with Sister, Darling and Jiaer almost everyday. I had been asking myself this question almost everyday, but why am I repeating the same mistake? Why the fxck did I spend so much time working, and being so busy with myself and neglecting Ahdon&co? Now, that we all know that we might lose them. God knows what may happen in court tmr, and this is the time when I start to feel upset, worried for them. I am upset that all my loved ones're leaving, either inside prison/hostel even if they're out, they're all w tagging/probation, and it distrupts our life. We cant go out anytime anymore, because they're all paying the price for what they had done. But look, why am I only learning to treasure when I am about to lose? When, I should had learnt to treasure earlier on based on previous experiences? Fxck, I feel so foolish now.

Tmr is Ahdon&Co's court, how am I supposed to sleep in peace tonight? I asked myself today, have I been neglecting myself alot too? Yes, I had been. How many times did I forgotten to have my meals? I probably only had my meals once per day when I am working. How many times did I suffered from insonmia? Probably everyday, because of the amount of stress, responsibilities and committments I had to cope with. If this continues, I know I will break down soon. I had not only been neglecting myself, but also people around me. Why am I always smiling, joking around when I dont think I am happy?
I think, its time for me to take a break. I had enough of L.I.F.E

And, do you know something?
I feel so digusted to know that you're doing this to yourself. Ask yourself, you made girls loved you so much and when you know that they really loves you, you choose to leave them. And, does that makes you proud of yourself? Aha, and you once said that you're handsome. Please, you're not. Laughs, I really wonder why on earth did I fall-ed for you in the first place. Continue to take those stuff into your body and destory yourself. I think you should just jump off some building or something, why're you being such a coward? Destorying your life slowly.
Look, I am not impressed lah. I am laughing at your stupidity!

Something happen-ed last night, laugh!
Because I can laugh at low-class people who speaks hokkien loudly, trying their best to let people know that they're gangsters. Well, its easy to lead life like you people, but try leading life like mine. I am not impressed with the way you behaved, because i can be like you. Even worsed than you, but I choose not to. Go ahead and fight for your power, fame and blahblahblah. All this will stop, when time comes.
And, for your info, its not that I was scared of you. I didnt wanted to react like you, because I am different from you. If I were to react, and tried to use my fist to settle that misunderstanding, then what makes me different from you, fxck-tards? I have got much better stuff to do, than wasting my time talking to fxck-tards in the middle of the night when I have a home to return to, and I should just spend my time sleeping to replenish my beauty sleep to make sure I dont age fast. And, because of fxck-tards like YOU! I WASTED 10$ LAH.
Dont talk so loud now, at the end of the day, you will see who laughing at who. L.O.S.E.R.S

Okay, I am hungry!
I must wake Ahdear up soon, for dinner and then wil head to find Ahdon&Co, they're finally on bail. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

2009-09-23T05:25:00.002+08:00

I still have many pictures to upload, but I am too lazy to because the photos doesnt have me in them. Muhahahahaha, and finally I get to blog. ohmygod~
I had been veryveryvery superduper ultra busy w work, i dontknow why. Andand, it seems like it had been a long while since I last met up with my lovely friends and ofcourse, my group of monkeys! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
I dontknow why, but there are alot of people's birthday falls on October lah! Why ah? 1st oct is Jiaer's birthday, 2nd oct is Zhiquan's birthday, 3rd is Melvin ahkor's birthday, 10th is Ahdon&Darren's birthday andand 30th is Grace's birthday. Ohmygod, I am going to spend alot of money buying present andand I will be super broke even before my 2nd pay comes, :(
I am so tired lah, but I simply cant get my ass to sleep w/o blogging ! I had been neglecting my blog like how I neglected my friends.
And, ahdear please stop pinching/disturbing me when I am trying to blog lah!
Okay, I am off to sleep real soon because I am suffering from headache and I can feel my brains spinning like a washing machine, and i need to meet Joker darling tmr and take alot of pictures together, i swear.
Okay, I need to pay my handph bills soon before M1 terminates my line.
Byebye my love, goodnight!

Kj, yeah! I miss you people hell loads lah.
Theresa, ofcourse I do remember you lah.

I am counting down to....
6more days to visit Kwan Bee-shi.
7more days to pay-day.
And,ofcourse not to those days that i need to spend money!
RAH

Time to grow up, with responsibilities.

2009-09-14T03:18:00.003+08:00

I am currently @ Ahdear's house lah, look @ the time now, i am fxcking supposed to get my ass to bed so that I can wake up for work tmr but I cant sleep because of the fxcking asthma medicine, and i had been shivering real bad lah. And, i am having flu now! While Ahdear is enjoying his sleep, having the whole bed on his own. LOL
Yesterday was a super fxck-ed up day, I swear! I didnt sleep at all, from saturday after work. Headed to cycle with Ahdon&Zhiquan to Serangoon North 147. Saw some drama there, and decided to head back to our kampong lah. Went up to Ahdon's place to transfer song into my handph, and went down to chit-chat all the way. I went home first, because I must wake everybody up. Then we headed to AMK Hub, to send Baby to school w Winz while Daddy&Mummy headed to Yishun to get some work done. Was already supposed to get my handphone when Mummy come back, but then we were rushing to Uncle Weng's place for some family gathering over there. Ate there, catch up with some of my relatives, and headed back home @ TPY. Was suppose to meet Ahdear after he finish his dinner @ my house downstairs but I fall asleep shortly after I finish my facial mask. Woke up by Ahdear's phone call @ 1pm, bath-ed and cabb-ed over after taking medicine, thinking that I would have a better sleep but ended up staying awake like a fool! RAH.
Took manymany pictures with Baby&Winz, will upload it soon. Ahdear's place dont have my USB lah.
And, Mummy said that I will get my handph soon[: Sigh, the only off-day for this week is tues, total I will be working for 28hours this week! YAY, this means that I will get alot of $$ as expected! And, I cant buy manymany stuff that I want lah. Wooohoooooooo.[:

Personal thoughts:
It doesnt really matters if people says I am buay-gan or whatsoever anymore, afterall I know I have changed for myself and no-one else. I am living my life pretty well now, and I dont see a need to resort to violence anymore, theres' no point doing so anymore... Hurting one another, leads me to no-where. So, might as well I use the energy and convert it into something more meaningful.
Many had been wondering why am I staying @ Thai express when the pay they offer-ed is so low, I am staying there, because I feel comfortable there. I like working there, and my colleauges clicks well w me. I dont see a need, to work at a high-pay job where I am not comfortable at all. Its only when you seek comfort, and then you can find happiness.

Mummy says that I have to make sure I want to go into Tourism before she enrolls me into the course, I have to do something about my life, and if I really go into Tourism next year, I doubt I will have time to enjoy the 18th year of my life. I doubt I can stay in Thai Express, I doubt I will have time for Ahdear... Next year will be a busy year for me, I have to go for Car license, I have to study damn hard, I have to work to earn more money to pamper myself. I guess, everyone has to go thru this. We ought to live with responsibilities and only then, we can grow up. I must start loving my new life, and continue to plan for the rest of my days! [:

Ohyah, i fxcking cut my hair -bangs- . LOL, the whole world will love @ me when they see me, Rah!

Tags replied,
{: , Depending on which part of your body you would want to tattoo. So far, the pain of the tattoos on my body're bearable. But, you have to make a wise decision before you put any tattoo on your body regarding the picture and if you would regret or not.
Shingying, Cheer up my love. My handph is not dead, you can still text me!
Jerad, Hah! We can go out on our pay-day!
Donovan, got it! Shag ar shag. LOL

I feel the emptiness still, having the urge to do so much things for so many people, yet unable to. I wished that sometimes, I had more time, greater courage and strength to adknowledge the facts, even thou they hurt so bad. And, more time to help those I had been wanting to. The courage to do what I want to. And most importantly, the trust in myself that I wont turn back anymore...
I just need to start loving my new life, and the people around me even thou I feel so lonely, and had thoughts that I had very little friends now. Let by-gones be by-gones, I know I have changed. Even if one day, I were to see my greatest enemy down the street, I would just pretend i never met him/her.
And, sad to say, I am starting to hate you for destorying everything. But, I ought to thank-you for doing this to me or else, I wont know what happiness is .

15-more-days-to-prison-visit
16-more-days-to-pay-day.

Kwan Bee-shi,
Terng Huimin,
Joey Chua Cheryl Jiaer,
i miss you 3 bxtch-es truck loads.
And, I hope you girls are thinking about me like how often I think about you.

2009-09-13T01:57:00.002+08:00

Okay, i fxcking miss my long gold-en hair lah.

Everyday is about work, off-days are with family/Dear. Not much time is left for friends anymore, and i believe this makes me feel more responsible lah. And, I miss ah dear badly. I so want to irritate him, want him to make me sleep like a lil'baby andand, dont allow him to watch all the stupid movies online! Hehe...

Blood ties is M18 lah, what the fxck cannnszx. I told ahdear I wanted to watch that god-damn movie and Ahdear agree-d with conditions that we sit far apart so that I won't xia-suay if I scream or shout, and I wont cover my eyes with his hands or bite him. Rah.

After calculating my pay, after deducting loans/bills and I am not left with much money lah. I am thinking of buying myself a Nike/Adidas bag, a big one! So that I can keep everything inside, since I bring alot of stuff out all the time. I think, I should get myself a bag that wont spoil easily but I doubt I would be able to get it this month lah. Nevermind, I shall persuade Mummy to buy it for me, hehe.

I am trying to get Mummy to get me my handph tmr, since we might be going to AMK Hub to send Baby to school, aftermath we will have to head to Uncle's factory for lunch with everybody. And then, we will all go shopping and have dinner together. Aftermath, I will go back home to leave my stuff and head over to Ahdear's place to keep him accompanied. Then, I will go back home in the morning, and then get ready for work and i will be having off day on tuesday and only tuesday for next week.

Rah, i really hope to see alot of money on my pay-day. Or rather, sufficient money for me to buy what I want/need will do. :(

Okay, I am off to meet AhDon&MonkeyLuzhiquan. Byebye world, will update when I have time. Meanwhile, miss me yeah.

And, please tag lahhhhhszx.

Ohyah, I saw X.rong erzi & Sotong ah-kor @ iluma after work just now, LOL. They all saw me and said, " A.........." LOLOLOL! And, this fxcking makes me miss going out, having fun with my friends lah. f.x.c.k

16-more-days-to-prison-visit.

17-more-days-to-pay-day.

woooohooooo!

2009-09-10T15:32:00.001+08:00

Okay, this 2 videos were taken this morning. Muhahahha, we took alot of videos and sadly, I didnt realise that I didnt hold my camera properly. But, i guarantee you will laugh your ass out watching this! I must buy a digital camera soon lah, cause I want to upload more videos of LU ZHIQUAN! I will make you famous on my blog okay, zhiquan? Lol.

Zoo trip cancel this morning, Daddy had appointments so we decided not go zoo. No point going when Daddy is not, it would be so troublesome. I am heading to church with Mummy tonight, and Mummy must be feeling so happy when I feel so fxck-edup. RAH, I am still thinking if I should stay over here, as my uniforms for work are still stuck in the washing machine, or should I go back to Ahdear's place, and come back home tmr morning ?! RAH! But, I want to watch WWE lah, and Ahdear's place donthave SCV. AND, MY UNIFORMS ARE STILL STUCK IN THE GOD-DAMN WASHING MACHINE! I really am confused, i dontknow if I should stay with Ahdear or stay at home?! RAH, i hate this part.

I will be heading to Peninsula Plaza, Cambridge Language Centre to explore! I will be going over there to take a look regarding what I will be learning and stuff, and then discuss with Mummy regarding enroll-ing me in or not for the course. I will be learning thai language first, advance from there. If possible, i guess I will pay for my own course. 10 lessons for $316. I think its worth it, because it teaches us about the culture too.
Anybody interested to learn thai with me, please drop me a tag/ comment me on friendster/ talk to me on my wall @ Facebook!
Muchlove[:

Ohyah, and if anybody is interested in China handphones, please contact me.
Email me @ my-complicatedfeelings@live.com.sg
and I will get back to you, we supply too! We can meet up to see if you want to take the phone or not, limited models but selling at cheapcheap price! The more you take, the cheaper it gets. I will probably put up and website regarding all this, so meanwhile stay tune on my blog yeah! {:

Where is my fxcking Terng Huimin, Joey chua cheryl Jiaer?
19more days, and I can see my Kwan Bee-shi!
I cant wait to see you, my love.

2009-09-10T00:36:00.002+08:00

I feel so stupid, to allow you to destroy my love-life. Fxckyou, seriously.

YAY! I am heading to zoo tmr with my family. Tmr will be a family day, and i feel happy about it. I guess, I had been growing up for past few months. Going thru all the setbacks of my life, ending up only understanding that only my families will be there for me thru thick-and-thin. At the end of the day, with all the mistakes I have made, Mummy had always been forgiving me, again and again. No matter how many times I have decided to get my ass off the house, just because of the smallest issue, Mummy kept the doors open for me. And i think, thats how great a mother's love is. And, I want to say, MUMMY I LOVE YOU LAH.

With all the responsibilities I have, earning my own expenses, paying for my own handph bills, pampering myself and blah, I guess I have no choice but to grow up. And, I am happy that finally I decided to let go of my past, those stuff that had been destroying me, and to grow up. Leaving my own comfort zone, building a even more lasting comfort zone for myself. Despite the fact that, I have decided to change but that doesnt gives me a reason to isolate myself from those friends whom I have made in the past. Doesnt means that mixing with bad companies makes you a bad person, we have choices in our life. And, we've to make the correct decisions.

Enough of all this! I am heading down to meet Donovan liao

People, please tag me can.

Dont allow my tag-board to rot and die.

My deepest condolence to Kejin & his family.

Lets all learn to treasure our love ones, before realising that they wont be there anymore.

I think, I need to make time for my grandparents.

I will update with pictures if I go zoo tmr!

AH DEAR AH.

LOL

2009-09-08T19:00:00.002+08:00

When you realise that your predictions for certains things're true, You will be afraid of yourself just like me.

I have got alot of things to do, so much that i dontknow where to start from. Ohyah, I am still considering if I should get E71 or w705. I am not going to get w995 anymore, I will be getting a digital camera and laptop instead. I am wondering also, if I should get the normal size laptop or small ones. Small ones will be more convenient, but i am afraid it wont look pretty inside.

Rah, I shall wait till I have money lah. 20more days to pay day lah, YAY. And, I cant wait for my off-day tmr!

Anybody have any shampoo, condition, facial wash, toner, moisturiser to recommend? I am about to finish all of them! And, I want to bag/slipper/clothes-shop lah fxck.

I've deleted my private blog.

Something is not right.

Passerby, Hah.

Somehow, nobody seems to think of me.

How i really feel.

2009-09-04T19:04:00.002+08:00

My hair colour faded again, and its purplish-red now. So, I think its worth it to spend $78 for purple,green,blue and red. Hahahahaha! I didnt go to work, because my eye lid is swollen. And, I am waiting for Mummy to come back home to give me money and I will go and get my mc for today. RAH. I had been feeling super bloated for nothing today lah, and I dont like it lah. It causes me insomnia andand makes me feel like puking all the time lah.

And, good news! I am going to visit Xiaobee on the 29th lah. I am so fxcking happy lah, really. I can feel the excitement rushing thru my veins, as if its going to burst lah! Ohmygodness, I am very excited. I need to take off that day, find my birth cert out. And, Xiaobee's Aunty will also be helping me, to arrange further visits. So, I can visit Xiaobee anytime i want to! Ohmygod, iloveherlahhhhszx.

Okay, I need to get ready to go out. Mummy is bringing us to bishan to have dinner. And, I will take money from her to see doctor tmr, and I have to go to work too! I must lah. I think, I am a happy girl today. Finally I can feel happy.

Lovelove.

Passerby, duh? If not I post happy birthday kwan bee-shi for? Lol.

2009-09-03T16:39:00.003+08:00

Beautiful things can not be seen or touched, it can only be felt by your heart.

I AM HAVING MY OFF-DAY TODAY, YET I HAVE ALOT OF WORK TO BE DONE LAH. AND, I AM NOT HAPPY WITH IT. (But, I havent be feeling happy/upset for very long.)

I have to tutor Winz, I need to design flyers for Mummy, I need go distribute flyers @ Potong Pasir. But, i had only tutor-ed Winz, but the rest I have not done yet!

I dont think 24hours is enough for me, on my off-days! Rah.

Oh, I bought muffins for my family today @ Toapayoh Lor1, block127. #02 of the hawker centre. I swear, it was super nice lah. I will take pictures and upload tmr, I am super in-love with the Orea muffin lah! Mummy love the banana muffin. There're cheese and ham's , xo, durian, peanut butter and blahblahblah! I will, buy it again tmr and upload pictures of it!

Okay, I will be having a very miserable week ahead. Cause, my next off-days're Thurs&Sunday! I am not earning enough money yet, I think it will take me a long time to earn $50 a day! I need to schedule my time well, I need to learn how to plan lah. But, I am afraid that I will neglect my loved ones if I continue behaving this way, but I think I ought to sacrifice lah.

Okay, I need to run.

I will update tmr, I think.

Takecare world.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KWAN BEE-SHI !

I MISS&LOVE YOU.

I promise to make time to call your aunt to check when i can visit you.

Lovelove,

Not going to update private blog.

Millie, thanks precious! iloveyoulah.

-i am not feeling well lah, fxck-

2009-09-01T14:21:00.002+08:00

Full stop, end of story.

It will be better if we leave all this things un-said, better than knowing and feels upset about it. It will be better for the both of us, to take it as we never knew one another. Or perhaps, nothing of this sort had ever happen and allow time to just let us forget the bad memories, only keeping the good ones close to our heart.

I am not going to be anybody's burden, I dont want anyone to ever worry about me, again. I am going to be independent, whether it makes me feel good or not. Sad to say, I cant feel happiness/upset anymore, all I can feel is anger/neutral. Well, I dontknow if I should feel happy about it.

Stop lying to me, treating me like a fxcking 7-year old kid. Explaining to me, why you lied and giving excuses that its all meant for my own good. If you want to lie, then dont ever let me find out the truth. But trust me, I may not be very smart but one fine day, the truth will be exposed cause paper can never cover up fire.

Okay, this week is going to be a busy day! I will only free on thurs, even my sundays're taken up by Winz and Dear. I guess, theres' alot of things for me to complete, esp those which I left undone for very long. I think I should make more time for my family. Since, I dont think I have any friends anyway. I am looking forward to see Kwanbeeshi lah. Fxck, imissyou my stupid short fxck-sister. Lolololol. 2more days to your big day, iloveyou!

Thanks spongebob&jzhi for tolerating my stubborn-ess! I love you guys manymany lahhhhhszx.

-updated my private blog-

You will no longer be a part of me anymore, You're a caused of all this.

Happy for you, you dont have to be responsible for this.

2009-08-30T13:37:00.001+08:00

Thai-express' schedule is up, and I am going to have a busy week ahead.

I guess, it would be better, at least i donthave so much time or strength to think too much.

Alright, I need to bring Winz&baby Ritz out, cause Aunty went to Grandma's place to pack Great grand mama's room.

Mummy say Great grandmama is better now, thank god.

Alright, I will countdown for my busy day ahead! wohoooo.

I guess theres' nothing for us to talk about anymore,

like what you've said,

you've got nothing to tell me.

Alright, I think we both know what to do.

Takecare.

-updated private blog-

Sister, 4more days to your big day.

2009-08-30T02:44:00.002+08:00

Thanks.

Thanks Jzhi, Tavis, Noel, Darren, Donovan, Shingying & Gavin for being there when I needed someone around me the most. Indeed, no tears dropp-ed when I was struggling. Instead, when I met Jiaer Baby today, i almost cried. I miss Xiaobee, I miss those times w her. There seems to be noone whom I can pour my sorrows on, noone who can keep my secrets like how they kept mine. But still, I appreciate everyone trying to be there for me. Thanks a million.

Monday is going to be a busy day, even today. I need to get things done, I need to make sure I am prepared to slog my life out. Not to worry, I will update my blog if possible.

Mummy decided not to let me go for the operation as theres' risk of it, and I think I shouldnt do it too. Will be putting on braces real soon, and I will be a total different Mabel soon. I guess, I had enough of everything. I need a break, I need to break-thru this shxt too.

Takecare everyone, thanks for everything.

-updated private blog-

Sister, imissyou.

2009-08-28T17:31:00.002+08:00

Many things happened this few days, and I am upset. Today marks the 1 year Ran left me, and coincidently my Great Grandma is very sick, she might leave us anytime. I am struggling, making one of the most important decision of my life. I feel so stressed up, I need to cry but I cant cry. I have to do something about my life, before I turn to a emotion-less-freak.Do you still remember this picture?

It was the first time we take picture together, and the last time too. We took this picture last year, when we were so contented having each another in our life. When you regained your freedom, call me every night to talk till I fall asleep. Many times we conference-d on the phone with Ahboon&Shaun. Oh, i miss those times.

2009-08-28T11:45:00.003+08:00

I mention before, my hair colour is in a very weird and ugly condition but sadly when I tried to take picture of it this morning, it looks quite pretty. Lol! It doenst only haves purple colour okay, I paid for $78 for purple but got green&blue also! Buy 1 get 3 free, hahaha. And, my hair wasnt suppose to be black, it was brown but Mummy told me to change the colour, orelse I will look like I am suffering from hair loss. And, I did so with the help of Don's mummy. I am happy lah, cause the black is fading away, and the brown looks so pretty now.

I am not feeling good today, esp when mummy called to say that we must spend more time w Great Grandmama, she might be leaving us very soon. She's too sick to even walk now, and we should spend more time w her. Sigh, it really saddens me alot to hear this. I had been feeling this pain since yesterday, thoughts of Ran keep flashing thru my mind. I need to breathe.

I must be strong, I wont allow anything to disrupt my life anymore.

Dear, thanks for every single thing you've done for me. I appreciate it, and i love you. thanks.

Kor, happy 1st year anniversary. Do you still remember today?

I am just going to be alone, I wont call/text anyone unless that person contacts me. I think everybody will be happier w/o me.

I am going back to work, update soon.

Updated private blog.

2009-08-26T23:47:00.005+08:00

B.ell is going to start work next monday @ Thai Express! And she feels so happy, because she knows that she'll be earning alot of money, at the end of the day. She's working for Mummy as Mummy's property agent's assistant. And, she will be working @ Thai Express at night. So, in short, she will be able to buy her Sony Ericsson W995 within 2months.
B.ell is also going to work hard, to buy a new laptop. She will also be saving money to get herself a car after she get her license next year. Mummy promised her to pay for license, and she feels happy about it.
B.ell just bought a bigger bag at Bugis for $33.90, and she wants to get another one this weekend w Huimin Darl. She needs alotalotalot of money, and she will work veryveryvery hard for her dreams and goals! [:
B.ell is suffering from infection for her belly piercings too! She will be attending church with mummy tmr, even thou she doesnt wants to but just to make Mummy feels happy! She've to visit the dentist tmr at Lucky Plaza for her braces. And, she's wondering if she should really put on braces cause its going to hurt badly for the 1st few weeks. But nevermind, B.ell will endure the pain if that makes her teeth pretty. And, she would go facial probably next week. She would have to shop for her pants&shoes on sunday for her job @ Thai Express. So, please grab B.ell before she goes crazy working for $$ !

I am not going to update my private blog for the time being. (:

And, I miss you kor.
Tmr marks the 1st year you left...
I wonder, how're you feeling right now?
And, are you working hard for your dreams&goals too?

Xiaobee,
sister I think you will be happy to see me soon.
I am looking forward to see you, and to write letter to you.
i know you miss me badly,
Cause i feel the same way too.
I've got so much to tell you,
so much to share w you.
Rest assured that, I am still right here waiting..
No matter how tired/sick of life I am, I keep my promises.
Esp those i made to my loved ones,
ofcourse those who worth my love.
I love&misses you.

Shingying, I am okay....
Eileen, yesyes! Ice3 !!!!! And, my blogshop is not up yet. Not sure if will be opening it or not.
Linqx, Er. My private blog link you also no use? You also cant read w/o your login id.

&, I think you should just close your eyes and remove me from your memories,
pretend that you never knew me.
Perhaps after realising you did this, I can also do the same.
Thanks, bestf.

2009-08-24T13:51:00.002+08:00

Photos on 22nd August, my cute lil baby Ritz! Everybody loves him, hehe.

Okay, I am working for Mummy now as her property assistant. And, thought of opening a blogshop also. Might also try to sell club tickets cause I need alotalotalot of money laaaaahszx. Okay, I am super tired! Jzhi&Tavis is over at my place now, and I think we should wake Ritz up to get some life. I need to meet Dear tonight I think, I want to get my bag so bad lah fxck. Lolololololololololololol =D

Eileen, Oh we were there like late at night. Around 9plus.

Linqx, give me your email to invite you.

Joanna, No lah. That day very tired.

-updated private blog.-

2009-08-23T15:37:00.002+08:00

22nd August - Emptiness attack-ed.

Tavis Lim came over to my place and found me sleeping, hahahahah! And, we brought Ritz&Winz my 2lil monkeys out to Bugis. Walk-ed around, as I wanted to get a new bag. Called Shingying down, as I couldnt manage Ritz even with Tavis around. Shingying arrived with Gavin, and they both helped me to take care of Ritz while Winz left with Mummy to church. Jzhi&Donovan come over shortly after, and Aunty came to brought Ritz back home. I swear, its super tiring to have a kid. Esp when he's super hyper active lah! R.a.h

We walked around, after Gavin left for work. Had KFC for dinner, and made ALOT of noise, Shingying couldnt stop her " lan mei" (Blueberry in Chinese) nonsense, which made all of us super irritated lah. We headed to Ion @ Orchard, before that headed to Far East and I got my bag there, like finally eh. I couldnt make up my mind, but I think I would be getting the other one soon too!

I want to buy the Gucci Classic S wallet lah, I love that wallet cannnnszxzszx! Rah. Went home shortly after, because we were supposed to go home get changed and head down to slack but in the end we didnt due to the rain and I fall asleep shortly after! [:

23rd August - I am feeling normal.

Woke up to send Ritz to school, met up with Huimin Darl at AMK too. Had lunch with her, and that girl couldnt decide what shampoo, soap to buy! Rah. I think I want to get Watson's body scrub lah. Rah. Shoppped around with Darling, saw a bag that looks very cute and we're getting it next week for sure! Hahahahahahhahaha[: I spent alot of money lah, i swear! I must start saving already laaaaaahszxszx.

Preparing to meet Shingying to slack, then head back TPY and rest till night before I meet Dear. Rah. I need money laaahhhhszx. I am starting work tmr, for my Mummy and I must earn alotalotalot of money. Cause i will be getting Sony Ericsson W995/ W705/ LG Crystal 2months later, it will be a gift from Dear again. And, I promised not to sell the phone away unless the phone spoil or what. Muahahahahah[:

Okay, I am off to prepare to meet Shingying. Probably update tmr? Takecare, love.

Dear, thanks for your love.

Eileen, Yes. Er, I not sure what time eh.

I will be getting a new bag next week w Darl. We want to get a couple ring too!

And,

I want to get Sony laptop soon.

-updated my private blog lah-

2009-08-22T05:49:00.003+08:00

I think I am a happy girl today, [: . Cause I bought alot of Ganier's facial products today, such like Facial foam and the Roll-on thingy. It is supposed to help me to remove my eye bags and dark circle and I hope it helps lah. I even bought mask, and I feel so satisfied with all this stuff lah. And, I am trying Loreal's eye make up remover. I hope it helps, I had been using Body Shop's remover and i feel uncomfortable with it lah. I am thinking if I should get Olay's milk cleansing wash, i think I should get a facial cleanser lah. Rah, I spent alot of money! I even got myself Loreal's Shampoo and conditioner and i think it works quite well. My hair is very soft and smooth now, and I merely use a small sum of it only lah! Okay, I love myself so much now. I want to get facial scrub, cleansing wash and body scrub soon! I need to "rob" someone again, weee.

I had been craving to go Xin Wang for Ice Peach Tea, I had been craving for it for donkey years and nobody wants to go with me lah! And, that stupididiotsiaocheebye promised to bring me out to watch "Where got ghost?" havent even asked me about the day to watch! RAH, I want to watch that movie real soon! I will be watching movie tonight with my lovablecute lil' Spongebob Tavis and probably with Pradeep&Co too, but first Spongebob&I have to take care of my 2 lil monkeys, Ritz&Winz as my maid go over to my Grandma's place to help her clean the house. We should be heading to Bugis as I want to fxcking get a new handbag! I think I really need to "rob" Mummy tmr lah.

Ohyah, I went prawning with Donovan, Kejin, Darren, Zhiquan, Shingying & Gavin yesterday! We caught 45prawns within 3hours and we had alot of fun! Shingying&Donovan left earlier, and we were so saddistic yesterday when we were poking the prawns with satay sticks. I ate alot of prawn heads, I swear. Thank God I didnt suffer from infection lah. I am not supposed to eat seafood, chilli, chicken and egg. I want to swim so bad lah, but I cant! Rah. We were supposed to head to K-box but our plan was ruined as all of them didnt had enough money. But its okay, I think we will go singing soon. And, Shingying promised me to go Pasir Ris yesterday, but she went prawning with her family instead. LIAR LAH YOU, LAM SHINGYING!

Met up with Don at Toapayoh Central earlier on, Zhiquan came over shortly. Headed back to my place to pack my stuff as I have to head to Mummy's place. Went to meet Melvin Chia after that, that skinnybotakheadmonkeyface looked so funny with botak head. We met like less than 30mins, and he left! A.N.G.R.Y lah! But its okay, we shall meet up soon again!
Then headed over to North to look for Tavis, Jzhi, Pradeep and Shawn. Jzhi,Pradeep&Shawn left earlier and I called Millie precious to come down, slack-ed awhile and Don left to meet Lamshingying. Headed back home with Luzhiquan and here I am blogging ! [:

I think I need to bath and rest, cause I am feeling kinda sleepy already. And, I super sot that stupididiot James from Toapayoh lah. My LG Ice-cream keep restart-ing, lag-ing and doesnt have reception! Rah! I think I am really going to fxcking get a new phone lah. Should I get Emporio Armani, Samsung Star or LG Crystal???? I dont like touch screen, but I just love Samsung Star lah!

Okay, I am off to sleep already. I will bath first, try my new facial wash, toner & blahblah first. I smell like 10cans of shark shit now. Goodnight people, probably update tonight with pictures if possible. Lovelove.

Happy belated 18th birthday.

May all your wishes come true,

~~and I miss you kor.~~

-updated my private blog-

2009-08-19T23:15:00.003+08:00

Hello world. [:

I am back to blogging! And.. I finally pierced my belly lah, weeee~ I went to get it done with my love, Lamshingying [: Donovan, Kejin and Zhiquan came along too, all the way to woodlands! They pierced their lips while Shingying&I pierced our belly. I had the urge to pierce my eyebrow lah, but I think I shouldnt be doing anymore crazy stuff lah! I might be getting my new tattoo @ Noel's house w his korkorh's help but somebody doesnt wants me to do it. But, I want to get it done asap.

Ohyah, I went malaysia 2days ago. Stayed over at 5star hotel, damn shiok lah. Forgot to take down the names of places I went, cause my handph died on me! Rah. And that was why I didnt manage to take down the names, sadly i didnt get anything in malaysia. Not even bubble-gums or cigarettes. Didnt had the mood to shop around, despite the fact that I was quite rich that day. Something happened on that day, I promised myself to leave everything there, come back and act like nothing happened and I think I managed to.

I am selling my nitendo tmr, and Shingying would be selling her psp too! I sold my Samsung Preston for LG Ice-cream, same as Xiaobee's phone! Andand, I think I would want to change to another phone soon too. I like Samsung Star, but I dontwant to use touch screen anymore! Sigh, I think I should just wait for a new phone to be released. I dye my hair at Donovan's mummy's salon today, and its black+blue+green+brown now. And, I dont care anymore! I think appearance doesnt matters anymore, really. I need to get new shampoo, conditioner, facial foam, make-up remover, and alot of stuff tmr! I need to save alotalotalot of money, I am going to rob Mummy tmr. *Kidding*

I think I am a happy girl now,

Mummy&I've made up,

and I know Mummy loves me alot.

I have Shingying, Tavis, Donovan, Darren, Zhiquan, Kejin by my side whenever I need them.

I donthave to worry anymore,

I am leading a better life right now.

I shouldnt have left him for you, seriously.

At the end of the day, I realised that he still loves me and I guess he deserves my love more than you do.

Let everything just ends like that, probably one day we could still smile to one another when we see each another on the streets.

For now, just let time heal the wounds.

Takecare.

Sandy, Er I donthave her cell number yet eh. I am looking for it too.

Sister, i miss you.

I still remember you, kor.

- Updated private blog -

2009-08-16T15:09:00.003+08:00

I am starting to hate imeem now, fxck.

I cant even upload a stinking song unto my blog, it all can only last for 30seconds until the person who uploaded the song approved me, using his song. Go bang wall la, fxck.

Rah!

Today is Baby Ritz birthday andand, I am gonna upload loads of pictures later. I am waiting for Russell Low to come over soon, mummy to send me to Bishan to get birthday cake andand I am still thinking if should I pay my handph bills first or get the high-waist skirt first? Rah! I want more clothes, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I wish we could just stop the time when we both were so sweet to one another.

And, I know I must forget you.

I know if I dont, I can never last in any single relationship.

But, this friendship was a 5year one, not 5months.

I believe, somehow you still think of me but not as much as i think of you.

Its hurting because its gonna be the 1st year you left,

but I believe soon I will overcome this.

I wish I cant feel hurt anymore..

But still,

I want to call you Kor, and wish to wish you a happybirthday on 21st August.

28thAugust20o8.

2:48am.

Okay, I am addicted to WWE now.

Jeff Hardy is hot and I cant wait to watch Jeff Hardy fight with CM Punk on Summer Slam. Kane is just as attracting as before.

I just wish i can hurry move back home, so that I can watch wwe everyday and chat w babylove online too! Rah

2009-08-15T22:35:00.003+08:00

I came back from Bugis w Shingying and Donovan, and I spent alot of money. HAHAHA, I want to buy clothes, bags, slippers, heels, skirts, pants, I want to fxcking buy alot of things. Somebody please donate money to me, I need to feel happy after shopping.

And, here I am back at Mummy's place.

My babylove is missing, Russell Low is missing in action! I am worried, I feel fxcking insecure right now baby, really. Where're you lah, love?

i am sorry if my blog is getting boring, but i dont feel like blogging anymore.

I dont see a need to tell anyone about me anymore,

perhaps i should just leave...

2009-08-15T01:39:00.001+08:00

I dont feel like saying anything,

I feel that theres' no point doing so anymore.

I feel unhappy,

I feel insecure.

I dye my hair brown and highlighted blue.

I want to get a tattoo done by tmr.

I am losing my mind already!

Say R.A.H

2009-08-15T00:05:00.002+08:00

Okay, Blogger had solved my problem and I think I should stay here lah. I dont like onsugar, I dontlike Xanga, I like Blogger and I prefer using Blogger! But, I will still keep onsugar because I never know when Blogger will have problems again! And, I guess I just want to keep someone who had been reading my blog silently, updated about my life I guess.

[ And yes, thats you retard. ]

I am unhappy, I am insecure, I am sensitive, I am crazy, I need to cry.

2009-08-10T00:31:00.000+08:00

I had enough of blogger!
And, I am movin on to onsugar.com!
And, if I like it there, I might stay there.
But, if Blogger settles the problem here, I will come back here!
Meanwhile, catch me @ www.belloveyouuuh.onsugar.com

2009-08-08T18:09:00.003+08:00

Hello world,

Pardon me for not blogging. Its not that I dontwant to blog, is that I am too lazy too at times, but when I have the mood to blog, I donthave internet access! Rah.

I had been feeling so crazy this few days, really. I put back my tongue piercing, had thoughts of putting tattoo and dont mind even if it doesnt looks good. I want to do the craziest thing I ever did, so that I could feel satisfied. But, I know I shouldnt run away from reality, this will only prolong my pains. But, I dont even fxcking know why I am upset, what made me upset and I think I deserve some slappings, RAH.

I am losing my mind, I really am.

20more days and it marks the 1st year you left,

but it seems like you had been gone for veryveryvery long.

And, I need back the sense of security I felt from you since primary6.

5years of beautiful memories I had with you bro,

but 1year of pain is causing my life.

See how much you matter to me, deep inside my heart.

B.ELL HAD DECIDED NOT TO FXCK-ING PIERCE HER EYEBROW CAUSE NOONE LIKES IT!

She wants to pierce her belly and, get a tattoo beside her belly button instead.

She wants tattoo her waist and arm.

She want to tattoo her name again, on her collar bones.

Gavin.C, I decided not to pierce my eyebrow. [:

Shingying, okay, fine! I am not piercing my eyebrow anymore, I pierce my belly instead.

T.Huimin, please tell her I love her, very much.

I want to fxcking watch IceAge3 and Jack Neo's new movie!

Fxcklah

i fxcking got my nitendo ds!

I did the craz-iest thing ever, I sold my favourite phone!

I fxcking sold my dream phone, samsung F480.

2009-08-06T01:00:00.002+08:00

Guess what!

I am at Monkey Lu Zhiquan's house blogging! Say W.O.W! I accompanied my little monkeys to AMK polyclinic today and it suck-ed, worse than Kurt Angle does! We waited for manymany hours and it didnt satisfy me! Rah.

And, something happened! Had some conflict with someone just now and I was wondering why is that happening? Are our perspective of you changing? Maybe it really is, but pardon us for doing so. I am selfish, I really am. I want nothing but the best for my clique, and I am comfortable with that. S.E.R.I.O.U.S !

Okay, I need to get a part time job to kill time! I really need to.

Eileen, I am already off from work! [:
Joanna, stop yo-ing lah! Lololololol

And, Zhiquan! Your keyboard is getting on my nerves! We will donate you one, pretty soon!

I
want
to
fxck-ing
pierce
my
eyebrow
and
get
that
kurt-angle
damned it
pink
tongue
stud!

I am retarded.

2009-08-03T20:01:00.003+08:00

Boo[:

I am fine, really.

I should had broken up earlier on,

I just want to be alone for now.

Not because I am upset or what,

I think I should be.

Takecare.

I am feeling upset, I dontknow why.

2009-07-31T22:59:00.002+08:00

29th July 2009 - I wished it wasnt true.

I was suppose to go for work, woke up late and received a call from Jane, telling me that it was Xiaobee's court. I asked alot of people for their opinion if I should attend work or court, and I told myself that I should attend her court, even if I get fired or what, I dontwant to regret anymore. And I went. I was so excited, thinking that I would be able to leave court with her, but in the end I left court alone. Xiaobee's sentenced 18months-3years depending on her conduct. I nearly cried, really. Dont wish to elaborate, its like adding salt onto my wound.
Imissyou, sister. After Xiaobee's court, headed over to Bugis to meet Donovan and headed to Suntec to find Shingying, took money from her and headed back to Toapayoh to meet Lester, Kejin and Zhiquan and we headed to BoatQuay V3, took pictures but lazy to upload cause I am over at Shingying's place now! [: Was drunk, veryvery drunk la. Headed to Dear's place after that because I realised that I didnt bring my key after I reached my doorsteps, like fxck siahhhhszxszxzszx.

30July'09 - Court date.
Woke up and leave Dear's place, rushed home as I cant be late for my court. Went court for like 2hours laaaahszxszxszx. Stupid can. Shingying, Donovan, Darren, Zhiquan, Grandpa and Grandma was there, went to eat then headed to Town! Went to Ion, and Far east and left for geylang. Slacked at Geylang with Shingying while Donovan, Darren and Zhiquan went to help his Dad move house. Ate dinner with them, headed to play billard! [: Russell came, and we headed to Haji lane and drink at All about Eve's bar with Kejin only. Then, headed to Macpherson to eat, and back to Garden's . Went home early in the morning, and slept!

31stJuly' o9 - Today, I am feeling insecure.
Wokeup @ 6plus, met Jovan and headed over to Bishan and I bought a mickeymouse transparent bag! Muhahahahahaha[: I did the most kia-su thing I ever at Popular today, fxcking paiseh lahhhhhhszxszxzszx. - I dont want to elaborate - And here I am, at Shingying's place and we're going to gossip about Donovan later[:

Esta, then how? I cant possibly put my number here right? LOLOL
Xiaorong, dont make your mother puke. -.-
Scas, you samson? Lololol, what I nonsense siah.
T.Huimin, sorry for?
Eileen, IMISSYOU TOO.

2009-07-28T17:35:00.002+08:00

I edited my private blog,

Those who wants to read please tag me with your blogger's email so that I can add you there.
There're loadsa of pictures on my private blog and a new tagboard ! Weeeeee, I am in love with my blogskin now. Muhahahaha, perhaps I will do something likethat on my blog when I have time.

I am heading to meet Donovan, Darren, ZhiQuan, Kejin and Jerad now and probably Shingying and Jovan later! I must take pictures today, and probably upload tmr[:

Anybody wanna go Bell disco on wednesday night? Pleaseplease? Before I go court...
Hahahahaha!
Bye world.

Ask me for my number thru friendster/facebook!

2009-07-28T13:40:00.004+08:00

HELLO WORLD!

I took Mc today, because I had been suffering from veryvery super ultra bad headache for a few days already, too many chemical in my workplace la! ANGRY LA, really veryveryvery angry because I was feeling very pekchek when I had my headache at work last night. And when I was on my way home, I dont have headache anymore! I am allergic to panadol, and thatswhy I need to take MC so that I can visit the doctor at Polyclinic and I waited for like donkey years for my turn. I told the fxcking doctor that I am allergic to panadol, and he dont seem to be able understand english lah! Wahlao eh, smack his face*

After seeing doctor, met Dear for lunch and here I am... at his place using the comp! I didnt had time to meet Dear la, the last time I saw him was last week, so saddening right? Anyway, I am thinking of changing job eh, cause of the time I need to travel there and the cost of my transport. According to my calculation, its not worth it. So, I need to change my job.
ANYBODY GOT GOOD RECOMMENDATION?!

Dear is busy on the 5th, which means that we both donthave time for one another to celebrate our 2nd month anniversary but nevermind, Dear dont like to celebrate anniversary, he says its lame and if its like 1styear anniversary or what he dont mind spending. He's so not romantic cannnnsxzszxszxszxsxzsx. I am getting my Yamano facial foam, and cleansing foam next week. Everybody please say WOW. Lololololololololol, I think I am crazy.

I have got pictures to upload, but I am too lazy to do so. My court date on 30th, sighsighsigh. I am getting more and more worried lah fxck.

I feel so left out, i really dontknow what to do.
Probably because I had been busy working but that doesnt means that I cant make time for you.
You called me your Bestf, but things dont seem to be so, why am I like the last one to know whats happening to you?
I still want to receive your calls,
hearing you saying that you miss me.
I still want to go Bell Disco with you,
and drink like theres' no tmr.
Looks like, I have lost another bestf again but this time I want to ask,
who's fault isit?
It seems like,
its nobody's fault and that our love for this friendship aint strong enough.
Sigh,
i hate the fact but I ought to live with it.
I am just pretending that I dont care,
but this isnt the truth love...
I still care,
and you matters as much as before.
I love you, Bestf.

I wish I had more than 24hours a day,
more courage for me to learn the truth about everything instead of always running away from the truth.
I hope I had more faith,
to believe in others than to always get things done on my own.
I hope I had more strength,
so that I wont be feeling physically and emotionally tired all the time.
I wished I didnt had depression, so that I wont be thinking too much the whole day.

Ran~~Kor~~,
How're you?
Have you been fine?
I tend to think of you, sometimes.
Though, not as much as before but I still misses you.
I hope you had been fine,
and perhaps our seperation actually helped.
Because, I wont have to feel more stressed up.
But, without you around...
I feel so insecure, but rest assured that I am doing well without you after so long.
But, I still miss you very much.
I miss hearing your voice,
I miss being strangled by you.
I miss you smiling at me with you cheeky looks.
I miss feeling secured with you around.
1more month, and it had been 1year since you left.

I miss the secure feeling I used to have,
I am tired.

Tags replied,
Laogao, lolololol. I did[:
Kejin, yesyes! Bell is super busy.
Joanna, lolololol! YO[:
Esta, I cant possibly post my number here right? You donthave my number meh?

UPDATED MY PRIVATE BLOG.

My cutie pie,

2009-07-22T13:17:00.002+08:00

My beloved Baby Ritz!
2years old on August 16, I hope I can make time to bring him out and celebrate his birthday in advance laaaaaahszxzszxszxzszx.
My life is so busy with work, I only get to off on weekday once per week which is like so sad because it means that I cant go to Bell disco because...
1. Love one're studying, working or in camp on weekdays.
2. I need to get ALOT of rest on my weekdays.
Lesser time with my love ones, and this is one of my biggest worry.
I dont want any of my relationship with my love ones to be drifted, its like so sad lah.
But, I believe that good friends stay in our hearts no matter how far apart right??
Anyway, I want to watch Ice Age3, so bad lahhhhhhszxzszxszx.
I watched Harry Potter on Sunday already and I feel that the story line sucks, seriously lah. Perhaps because I was too cold in the cinema that I cant concentrate well, lololololol.
Okay, Dear is sleeping like a pig behind me now! I need to wake him up, because i cant possibly spend my off day at home using computer right? It will sadden me, so... I must wake him up but I doubt he can wakeup, causecause he's too tired to. He've got dinner atHainamsua tonight, and I am giving it a miss! I rather spend time with my love ones or staying at home just to watch television than to spend my precious time there, eating non-stop and getting my ear drums burst by the loud hailings. HAHA
I need to get ample of rest, because I will have to fight very hard tomorrow at workplace for my push cash and commission, I guess I will be stabling down soon. This job is quite a good job lah, time passes by very fast there. I have funny colleagues and nice supervisor. 2hours&40mins of break everyday, the only bad thing is that I have to travel like super duper far lah. And, thatswhy I am getting a Nitendo DS Lite, to keep me accompanied thru-out my trip to work and back home, (:
But, dear says that he doesnt wants me to spend my 1st pay on my Nitendo DS Lite because i think he's getting it for me on our 3rd month anniversary.(HEHE) And, I wont have time to meet him on our anniversary either, but I am getting my pay on that day. So, probably celebrate our 2nd month in advance on the 3rd. And, get him a gift after I get my pay. Muhahahaha, I am thinking of getting him a perfume but he doesnt use one. Probably he would use it, after I buy it for him? Hahaha, I think I should just give him money to change his PSP cover la. But again, he wont allow me to spend my money on this type of stuff so maybe I should just go to Levis and get a jeans for him and myself, because 2 jeans is for $199 now!!!!(Okay, I am soooooo Aunty la.) Hahahahahhaha.
I am so obsessed with Coach can, rah! I want to get the Pink Parker Mini Skinny porch lah, its @ $48.00 only so.... I am going to get it on my first pay without letting Dear know, orelse he will kill me.
Or, should I get my waist tattoo first? Rah. I should be saving the money instead of spending it. But, I am so stressed because of work so I should at least pamper myself right? Okay, so much excuses, RAH! Okay, I have to get ready to meet Jovan and Donovan later lah.
Takecare everybody, the soonest I can get to blog again will be next week. Please text me if you happen to be at Tampines Mall so that I can waste my 2hours, 40mins break with you. And, buy perfumes, facial wash or hair wash from me! Cheapcheap ehhhhhhszx.

I cant wait to get my bigbig mickeymouse from wongmengjzhi.
I cant wait to have my next off day la.
I cant wait to get my pay la.
I must spend my next off day in town, i dont careeeeeeeeeeeeeeszxzszxszx!

2009-07-22T00:18:00.004+08:00

FINALLY, OFF DAY! WOHOOOOOOOOOO(:

Hello everybody! I had been trying to adapt to my work-life pretty well, serving customers standing for like dontknow how many hours, and thankfully I have good supervisor! My leg muscle had been aching so badly since day1, Monday. I guess its because I have not been working for a long while, muhahahha.(:
Anyway, if you people want to buy perfumes like Gucci Envy Me, or whatsoever please hurry get your perfumes at any Beauty Language outlet! There're many outlets like Kovan, AMK Hub, Bishan, United Square. I am still thinking if I should get Lacoste or DKNY, Lolololololol. Promotion ends on 26th July if I remember correctly. Text me to check about perfumes prices yeah?!
Okay, I am feeling so sleepy already. 8more days to court date, sigh.
Eileen, yeah I will ! Will let you know whens' my next off day[:
T.Huimin, yes darl. Be good and finish your sentence. Tell Baby I love&misses her, very much.
Joanna, Will de! Thanks.
Esta, suresure. No problem! My number is the 91*******
KJ, my work ah? Not bad leh, will jy de! You also jy giving out flyers ok.
Donovan, yeahyeah I will de.

I am a happy girl,
everythings' going well.
Be it relationship or work.
Hopefully, I will cross this barrier on the 30th.
If I am able to, I think it must really be a blessing.

R, i dont seem to understand you anymore.
I wonder if its my fault or who's?
Perhaps things aint as complicated as we thought so.
I love you, bestf.

Gavin, Shingying, Donovan&Darren, please give me your email address so that I can add you on my private blog.
Lovelove!

-PRIVATE BLOG UPDATED @ www.bell-wantstobe-alone.blogspot.com-

Back @ 1:35AM

Met up with Lester Tan to catch up earlier on.
Okay, Wong mengjzhi promised to buy me a bigggggg mickeymouse if I work for 1month!
I am so excited, wohohohohohohohohooooooo[:
Thanks Zhi for accompanying me thru-out!

2009-07-18T14:11:00.003+08:00

Hello world!
Sorry for not blogging last night, wasnt at Dear's place so didnt had a chance to blog. Was staying at home sleeping the whole day, texting with wongmengjzhi and he fall asleep. Was suppose to meet up with him, but dontknow where the hell he died to! Lololololol.
And, the above picture is my adorable baby Ritz turning 2years old next month, 16th. [: (Look at his forehead, got a huge blue-black!) I am meeting up with him and Aunty later to get my pants because....

I am starting work on Monday!

Weeeee~ At Beauty Language located at Tampines Mall! Andand, its $1000 + commission per month, and I will try my very best to work as long as possible.
Okay, wongmengjzhi have woken up from his beauty sleep, muhahahaha. And, I saw Jun darling just now! I am glad that nothing happens to Huimin Darl, Jiaer baby sent me her regards too!
Lololol, i love all of you lah okay. I am soooooooooo sad. Cause I wont have time to play FarmVille, FarmTown and restaurant city anymore, ]: I only can apply off on weekdays, which means that I cannot go drink anymore ): I am super duper upset lahhhhhsxzszxszxzs ):
I wont be active on Friendster, Facebook and blogging anymore, I wont be able to use my handph during work either, RAH! ): I will try my very best to keep in touch with all my love ones okay, meanwhile takecare and call me only after 10pm, text me and I will reply as soon as possible yeah?
Lovelove! [:

-plagued by insecurities.-
I miss Kwan Beeshi and Tavis Lim Dexing like, fxck?!
Anyway, my tagboard is back! Because I dont seem to be able to receive any comments eh.
Lololol, I need some encouragement !

2009-07-17T00:51:00.003+08:00

I am too lazy to blog.
Today is a happy plus sad day. fxck
happy cause,
I get to see Ritz.
I bought my handph leather casing.
I changed my hairstyle.
I found a job recommended by Joanna.
Sad cause,
my hair is so short now.
there was a problem going on just now.
something happened to Darling, I hope she's alright

So, i dontknow if I should be happy or sad.
Well, I am very sleepy alrd.
Goodnight world

[PS: WILL UPLOAD PICTURES SOON.]

Darl, I miss you. I wish what I am expecting wont be happening, this isnt your fault. Nobody will blame you, iloveyou.

2009-07-16T01:20:00.004+08:00

HELLO WORLD! {:

I had been feeling so sleepy recently, sleeping like more than 10hours a day. Rah! This bad habit of mine cannot continue! Rah!!! Okay, I think I need to change my blogskin, despite the fact that I love plain designs, but still this is abit too plain rightright? Lololol!
I have finished watch my movies, so I am wondering what movie to watch next?! Anybody've got an suggestion uhuhuhuhuh? Lets talk about my job hunting, I am so angry!! Rah! I had been hunting for jobs for like more than 1month, but none of them called me back to work! Fxckthis. I seriously need to get a job like pleasepleaseplease? I need to start saving for my private o next year, I want to get my license next year too! Rah. angry~
I dont feel that I am asking a lot for a full-time job, I am only asking for $1000 after CPF deduction leh, already veryveryvery little cannnszx. Its not even enough for me to spend, seriously. After deducting my transport, my food I guess I am only left with $500+ only. I still need to save some money, pay for my handph, give some money to my grandparents and I will be super broke, I dont even have enough to shop! I still have fines to pay on the 30th, so I really need a job! Rah.
Okay, I will blog later if I get to think of a topic. Meanwhile, I am going to play FarmVille, FarmTown and Restaurant City on Facebook! Bye, Loves!

Shingying, Lol! Isnt that like so wonderful? Muhahahahahah! [:
Donovan, feel so what?! You better go to school everyday, you need to give me monthly allowance next time when you start working if I am not married! HAHAHAH.
KJ, You're forever on holiday. Sigh.
Esta, suresure! Then it will have to be either on Friday/Saturday. And, you change url also never say, idiotidiotidiot! Rah
Gavin.C, NO? I am not upset. Just preparing for the worse.
Eileen, Lol! Okokay! I will make time for you love.

BACK{:
Okay, Dear and I was watching Drag me to hell, downloaded from www.watch-movies-links.net halfway and received a super irritating call from someone super irritating. And, Dear abandon me at home and went down to talk to the super irritating person! Rah.
I was thinking if I should remove my tagboard and change my blogskin into blogger's layout and you people can still comment me and stuff. Wellwell, I still have not make my mind yet. I guess, I would do so! Becausebecause, I am plain too lazy to go to www.blogskins.com to download a skin, and edit it. Rah!
I think I am getting lazier and lazier, LOL !
Ohyah, I must meet up w MelvinKor next week. Andand, for dontknow what reason I am so hungry! Oh, because I havent had my lunch and dinner yet. Soon, its gonna be breakfast! Weeeeee.
I miss Lirong sweetheart.
I miss Tavis spongebob.
I miss wongmengjzhi idiot.
I miss being missed!
Lol, and Yes! I am going for job hunting and perhaps find DonovanQuek in Macpherson ITE and maybe I can get to see my shuaige tooooooooo. Woohoooooo!
14more days to court, damnszxszxszxzszxszxsx.

2009-07-14T23:04:00.002+08:00

Another wasted day,

I had been sleeping since 8am in the morning. I guess I must be like, super tired. Just woke up, having very very bad headache! And, I had not been eating! Since I ate the chicken chop last night, around this timing with Dear, 24hours already! But, I am not feeling hungry yet so nevermind!

Job hunting continues tmr, I really have to find a job like soon. Grandpa had been unhappy with the life I am leading now, I guess its time to find a job and things will probably turn out better instead[:

If all of us, had a choice.

Everything we do, we 've a choice. We can choose to fight or not to fight when theres' a problem going on, we could choose to listen or ignore about what others said about us. We can choose to lead what type of life, and not what others wants us to. But often, our decision always tends to hurt the people around us especially our family. In our life, we can have many friends but in my heart, there' will only be 1 Grandpa, 1 Grandma, 1 Donovan, 1 Xiaobee, 1 Huimin and 1 Jiaer. Nobody can replace anybody! Now that Xiaobee, Huimin and Jiaer had lost their freedom because of moments of pleasure, I understand the importance of freedom and not to let my moments of pleasure, hurt anybody out there. All I want to say here is, I love you people manymany! And, wont let you guys leave me, anymore.

Donovan, thanks for everything you've done for me. My 07 had left me long ago, and yes I may seem to be living a fxckedup life without him, but I had gone it over and done with already. He had left me with the best memories of my life, and I would never allow any of my loved ones to leave me, anymore. Yes, I will stay strong to see you get married and have your kids! Remember what you & Darren promised me, as long as I am not married or not capable to take care of myself, you guys will take care of me all your life! Hahaha, then Donovan Quek! I am not planning to get married anymore, I want you and Darren to take care of meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Muhahahahahhaah! [: Shut up lah, where got error siol. My english is the best okay! Thanks for allowing me to know, my place in your heart. And, I know I will be staying there forever my dearest di! I love you ahhhhhh.

Shingying, LOLOL! Its convienent for him eh, He can come over to fetch both you and me at the same time. Isnt that like so wonderful? Lol! [:

Esta, thanks for dropping by just to tag! When on earth will you want to meet up uh?

R, I notice the change in you. I dont like the new you, but I think I understand why did you changed like so suddenly. What I want to say is that, no matter how good or bad you've changed, you're a part of my life already and I will never allow our friendship to be disturbed by anything. You're my bestf forever, and I am always here by your side just that you didnt realise. I love you!

Jun, my dearest silly darling! Hahaha, Maybe you will get to see this, maybe you wont, but I hope you learn to treasure her more now, than compared to last time. It needs alot of faith, courage and strength for a girl to continue a broken up relationship. It need alot of courage for someone to step into a relationship. You're not young anymore, please learn to be wise! See you next year in Bishan ITE for Night Classes yeah?

I am starting to miss Jingmei, so much. ]:

Oh, I miss the fun I use to have with Kejin, Zhiquan, Don, Darren, & Co! When's the next outing uhuhuhuhuhuh? LOLOLOLOL[:

2009-07-14T02:07:00.002+08:00

As we grows up,

I readed Donovan's blog and it sort of gave me something in mind to blog about. I saw Huimin's blog, and it made me feel that I should really blog about this. I guess, this is what I had been thinking, and this is what I want to tell, to every single one out there.

Lets cut the craps, and go straight to the point yeah?
None of us, had a chance to choose what type of parents we want, who we want to meet, and where we would want to be. Everything was fated, from the start. And, life can never be perfect because we're all made imperfect. However, I believe that I can no longer do anything about yesterday, but I can do something about today.

I used to be a very rebellious teen, even up to now. I am super ignorant, fxcked up and stxcked up at times too. I tend to believe in what my loved ones say, than to believe what I actually see. But, that doesn't applies in my love life. Like other teens, I used to attempt suicide, and do all sorts of stupid stuff in my life. Get involved with gangs&drugs, I am those type of girl that your parents wont want you to mix with. I flunk my exams on purpose, I get into fights, I smoke, and at the end of the day, I question myself. Why am I doing all this? The answer is simple, and I believe this is the answer to all those teens who're like me, I wanted more attention from the people around me.

In everybody, theres' an Angel&Demon.
We're Angels in our friend's eyes, because we talk about loyalty, towards our brothers/sisters, or even our gang. But, at the end of the day, question yourself. Isit worth it? No, we all have to grow up one day, we will have our own life, our own career, get married and have kids. What makes us so assured that our friendship will last forever? Nobody knows when they're dying, nobody knows what might happen the very next second.
We're Demons, because we would disobey whatever rules and regulations in schools, or curfew set by our parents and blah. We skip school, we steal, we smoke when we're underage, we fight just because we're unhappy with that person staring at us, we do all sort of silly stuff just to make people know us. At the end of the day, my question is still the same, isit worth it?
NO, MY ANSWER IS STILL NO. Whatever shxt we do wrong, had you ever realised that the group of people who gets angry most, 're always your parents? Because you matters alot to them, and they can never afford to lose you. They worked so hard, for you to go to school to study, hoping you would lead a better life compared to theirs' in future. We steal, because we're too lazy to work for what we want, we smoke because others're doing so too. We fight, to get fame, to get power but think about it again, how long will all this power&fame last?Would you want your kids to grow up and end up like you? I am sure, if You're sensible enough, Your answer would be the same as mine, NO.

Many of you, might be thinking that I am so matured to say all this, but why aint I doing what I've said? And yes, I am a hypocrite. Everybody in this world is a hypocrite. I believe everybody is mature enough to understand all this, but we all choose to ignore because of attention, fame and power. To those who can still turn back, and lead a normal life. Please, stop what you're doing before you become hopeless like me. I believe, one day you will be sick and tired of this type of life. But, before this day comes, you better stop all this.

I am hopeless already, I had wasted my life doing all the mention above. I took things for granted, I took my parents' love and trust for granted and I have nobody to blame. If only, I sit down and think like this earlier probably things would have been different. Right now, the only thing I can do is to work hard for my goals in order to prove to my parents that I am no longer that immature girl you people think I am. Yes, I may still be involve with gangsters or people who take drug but that doesnt makes me one of them. Those gangsters or seh-ka 're the people I grow up with, and they're part of my life already. One day, unknowingly we may all split but before that, I want to keep them as part of my memories, to remind myself not repeat the same mistakes anymore.

Lastly,
Mummy, I am sorry for those hurts I brought into your life. I am not asking for your forgiveness, neither do I want you to forgive me because I myself couldnt forgive myself for doing this to you. I know, this is huge setback of your life. I am sorry for disappointing you again and again, this mess is too messed up to be cleared but all I could do is just wished that you would be fine. I guess, we dont have to explain much to clarify whatever that happened. But still, I love you Mummy and thanks for everything.

Donovan, You're just like the angel of my life. Without your existance, I guess I would had died long time ago. My dearest beloved di, you still can turn back you know? Its not the end yet. You know that, I know you in-side-out and you can never hide anything from me. No matter what happens, you're still my one&only di that I love&dote on most. I dont know how long can our relationship last, but all I want to say is. You're kept deep down in my heart, where nobody can replace you. I treasure you&Darren as much as I treasure Xiaobee, Huimin& Jiaer. Thanks for always being there for me, thru-out the lowest peak of my life, I will never ever forget you my love.

Huimin, Jiaer & Xiaobee, my dearest girls. I hope whatever you girls're going thru will be a lesson learnt. Dont let our mistakes, take away our freedom anymore. I seriously dontknow how long this sister-ship can last but like what I said, I will never forget you girls and our heart will always beat together, no matter how far apart. I love you girls, really do.

thats all for today, probably wont blog so often anymore! [:

Joanna - Yo![:
Eileen, Yes, its like super nice lahhhhhhszx.

Rah! Dear went Nana with his friends, fxck. Please stop thinking too much B.ell !!
Rahhhhhhhszx

2009-07-13T01:35:00.003+08:00

Here are the pictures at Bell Disco! Didnt manage to take picture with Russell, that idiot was trying to escape and had manymany excuses! Rah!

Basically, I spent my lovely Sunday with Grandparents! Had breakfast, walked around Toapayoh Central went NTUC and bought manymany Yakult(s)! Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ Headed back home, bath and went to sleep.
Was suppose to meet Dear at 7plus told him I get ready and leave to meet him... BUT! I fall asleep, super tired lah. My back is aching badly, I feel so old now. Woke up around 10pm, headeed to meet him for his late dinner and came back home blogging! Weeeeee. Okay, I want to watch my show alr, will blog later if I've something in mind!

Shingying, Yeahyeah! I will go find a job at Suntec if possible then we can meet during lunch break and gossip about Donovan yeah? HAHAHAHA, DON YOU SUCK LAH.
Eileen, I didnt know you stay at North4. I thought you stay at Hougang, hahaha! Lets meet up for Duck Rice there next time, Lololol.

I miss Xiaobee, Jiaer and Huimin.
Darl, I feel that we drift alot. Our thinking aint that alike anymore, you dont seem to be texting me when you're out anymore. Sigh, why is this happening? Probaby because you're having your new friends around you, sigh]: I am so jealous. Really
Baby, 3more days and you'll be in Gracehaven. I cant wait to see you, so bad.
Sister, 2weeks+ to your court. I miss you. The guilt in me, is getting stronger and stronger as each day passes by, I miss you so much. I've got so much to tell you, so badly.\

I miss my spongebob!!!!
Rah!

2009-07-11T18:33:00.002+08:00

It wont hurt so much, anymore.

Hello everybody, I am back! [: Sorry for not being able to blog, I had not been at Dear's place. Thanks to those who had been concern, things're getting fine for me and Dear. Perhaps, every relationship is likethat, a sweet start but a bitter ending. As for my depression thoughts, sorry to those who had been so worried, and had been trying to contact me while I wanted to be alone. Thank-you very much, I feel so so appreciated&loved. Thanks![:

All thanks to my great buddies, being there me thru-out. Accompanying me thru the painful nights together, when I cried and stuffed, they was thru it all. I feel so loved by you guys, really. If meeting him* is a disaster, then meeting you guys must be a blessing. I feel so blessed with you people around, really. I went to Bell either on Friday/Saturday night if I am not wrong, all thanks to Russell. He was there with his friends, and he asked me to tag along. I went, drank quite alot. To the the extreme of almost my whole body numbed! And, his friend sent us back to Toapayoh, Zhiquan, Kejin & I was eating, slacking, singing and talked some nonsense and headed home. When I reached home not long, Dear called and I started to spout nonsense to him. I guess, after he listened to what I say, he sort of adknowedge my feelings and things' were getting better. Whatever it is, I believe I am strong to go thru this. [:

I met up with Keith and Precious at north4 last night, I was like a hungry ghost can. Grrrrrrrrrr, I dontknow why! Probably because I am having my period and it hurts so much laaaaaah motherfxckerrrrrr. Zhizhi was suppose to come, end up he had something on and didnt come! I miss that skinny bones lah! Lololololol. We slacked awhile, and headed to Ahpui's place. Dear called, and we went back home by cabbed and I dropped the 3 monkeys, Donovan,Darren&Zhiquan off first and headed back to Toapayoh. Was suppose to go Dear's place but he didnt answer my call because his phone was on silent! After i reached home, he called me! I had to waste my cab fare to his place again, fxcklahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

And now, my fatty pig is asleep still ! He still have to work tonight, and tmr will be family+Dear's day! I want to go NTUC with Grandparents to buy manymany yakult and candies! And, monday will be serious job hunting day! Wish me luck yeah.

And hor, I see my hit counter jumping but no tags! Which alibaba didnt tag uhuhuhuhuh? I curse that person who never tag, will drop all his/her hair and in the future, have a dumb-fxck child. Hahahahahhaha.

Shingying, Thanks! I am feeling much better already Love[:

Xiaorong, Erzi meet up soon okokayyyyyyszx?

Eileen, I changed the thingy alr. You try again?

2009-07-09T18:16:00.000+08:00

Happy 17th birthday, Eileen.
Last longlong with Ming yeah.
Lovelove,

&& I invited you on my private blog!

I had been away from MSN for a long while, was only online when not so much people were online, see no point being online. Whenever I am, people question me about my life. C'mon, theres' something called a blog. I dont need any questions, neither do I anybody to pity me about the setbacks of my life, fxckit.
I am in a super bad mood today because when I woke up, I received a call from my maid. I realised that my court letter is here, I was caught last year October 7th and I only receive the court letter today. Fxckit, seriously fxckit.
Rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Things're getting worse, fxckit.
Good things always comes to an end.

I want to go Bell Disco.
I want to drink so bad.
I need to complain to Spongebob,
I want to complain to Xiaobee,
I want to talk to Jiaer.
I need to see Huimin.
Fxck this shxt. Fxck it.

KJ, Lol I forgotten who the motherfxcker is Kejin.

2009-07-09T06:13:00.000+08:00

I dontknow what to do, I just cant stop feeling upset.
Cried badly since morning.
Precious is right, the old Mabel who was so strong is missing.
Sigh, I need the courage to believe what's happening.
I shall not deceive myself, but first I need time.

I miss you, kwanbeeshi.

Donovan, Darren, Zhiquan, Noel & Kejin, thanks for being there.
Eileen, send me your email to invite you.
Those who wants to read my private blog, please tag me with your email.

2009-07-08T02:48:00.003+08:00

Went for interview at Far East, was told to wait for calls and guess I donthave anymuch chances either. Sigh.
When home, slept for awhile and received calls from Donovan, KJ and Zhiquan. Head-ed to AMK to meet Donovan&Shingying, and came KJ and Zhiquan. Sat at coffeeshop talk cock, and decided to head to K-pool and received a very shocking call.
Kwan Beeshi called, she's currently on bail and waiting for Court tmr. Sighsigh, I could hear from her voice that she wants me to be there, and I guess I will be.
I am feeling so insecure right now, something happened. If you guys really want know, then read my private blog ( only for people who're invited, currently nobody is asking for invitation.)
I am insecure.
I am so insecure.
I am very insecure.
I am fxcking insecure.
Fxck.
I want to cry.
I need to cry.
I really want to cry.
I really need to cry so bad.

2009-07-06T21:17:00.002+08:00

Terng Huimin, Darling.
I still remember the first time I know you, I didnt liked you. Our bonds were very strong from the start, some say that our characters're alike. You're just like the 2nd Mabel is SGSS, and I totally agree. Those times we stayed together, did all the nonsense together, those times we got caught for smoking by the same HSA within 1week. We quarrell-ed, argu-ed and seperated for moments but our bonds're still as strong as ever. You're the one whom I can confide in, about everything. I miss you Darling, very much.

Joey Chua Cheryl Jiaer, baby.
Those times we had so much craziness together, at your house, at Value Hotel with Xiaohai and co, those memories 're so valueable to me. Thou, we had a huge misunderstanding in the past, but we didnt need to explain much to solve this misunderstanding because our love for one another is much bigger as compared to the misunderstanding . Those times, you stood by me whenever I am upset, whenever I look you up and stayed over at your place. I kept those memories close to my heart, despite the fact that I always argue with you more often compared to Xiaobee&Darling but in my heart you matters as much as them. I miss you girl, I wish I would have brought you away so that you wouldnt have to be inside leaving me all alone here. I love you girl, very much.

Kwan BeeShi, Sister.
Knowing you for the 5th year already.. We gone thru so much together, those times we fought together, those times we did case together, and those times we faced our punishments together. And, I never ever regret doing all those cases with you, facing all the punishments with you ever before. My biggest regret, is that I wasnt able to go thru this punishment with you, the regrets is that I didnt treasure those moments with you and took things for granted. The biggest regret is that, I believed what others said about you back in secondary school days and drifted with you. Girl, I had so much to say to you, so much to be done with you and I wished you didnt leave me all out alone here waiting for you. I miss you girl, I love you, I want you back to my side. I will treasure you, more as compared to the past. I will keep my promises, to wait for you like how I waited for you back in my secondary school days.

Nothing can comprehend, how I am feeling deep inside me now. The only words I could say is, the feeling of loneliness is getting deeper and deeper right inside me. I want to break-away from this type of feeling, I want to be strong so that none of you will worry about me. What I regret most, is that I didnt treasure those times with you girls when we all had our freedom. Rest assured that, I will stay strong and try my very best to keep the promises we made because I love all of you girls. And, like what we always said, the 4 of us will never be apart. I miss, all of you.

Super upset, very.

Xiaorong, hahahah! Okay... Meet up soon yeah?

2009-07-06T01:21:00.002+08:00

happy belated first month anniversary my dear,
thanks for being so sweet and loving for the past one month.
And, accepting my stubbornness at times.
i love you so much, and doubt would be able to find any other better guy than you.

Sigh, too upset to blog.
Xiaobee is leaving for holiday, in 12hours time.
Cant bear to let you go, sister.
Really, wish you will never leave me out alone to wait.

And, in another 12hours time.
B.ell will be all out alone, waiting for her dearest sister, baby and darling for donkey years before they can ton, and do whatever shxt they want together again.

I went bugis today, didnt see anything that caught my eye.
I am not planning to buy the m)phosis bag anymore, everyone seems to be having it.
I am planning to get my hair done on Tuesday, hopefully I will have enough cash.
Job intros, anyone?

Laogao, okokay! will re-link soon.

2009-07-04T16:50:00.002+08:00

I was too tired to blog last night, like seriously?! I waited for Dear to finish work with KJ&Zhiquan at Tpy, was running around finding for adapters so that I could charge my phone. Dear came back, went to Kopitiam to have a drink and headed home with him. After reaching home, went to wash up, turn on the comp to view my Facebook, Friendster & Blog then K-O on the bed. Very very tired, rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~.
I woke up several times, dontknow for whatever reason and headed back to sleep. I will be spending my night at home, I guess my grandparents miss me very much. Andand, tmr is me&Dear's first month anniversary. But, we're not celebrating, cause I guess we donthave to. With my Samsung F480 Dear bought and the PSP I bought for Dear, is a expensive gift for our first month yeah. [:
I am loving my Samsung F480 more now, ohmygod. Dear is so obsess with his PSP that He's actually paying more attention to it than compared to me lah, I am so jealous and upset! Rah. But, I believe after he knows his PSP well, he's attention will be back to me. [:
I dontknow what to blog, sigh.
I feel so disappointed, the minute I wake up and received a call from you. I knew what you was doing, but I thought you promised to stop? And, when i questioned you, you still had the guts to be angry. I dontknow what to say, I really often wonder if you're gonna do this all your life whenever you feel down or whatsoever? I had been thru this, but doing what we always did doesnt helps a single bit at all. Sigh, I dontknow what to say. Sister is going in, she wants us all to be good yet you're doing this. Imagine her, knowing this how woulld she feel? I guess, you're numbed by all the naggings and we're numbed for nagging at you. Sigh, darling please dont make us give up on you. We wont want to, really.
Baby's coming out in 12 days time, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
I need to make time for Xiaobee, but I am having this phobia that I might tear when I see her. Because, I know I have to wait for dontknow how many years later before I can see her again. I dontwant to visit her, when she's inside, I dontwant to tear to make her upset either. I need to be strong, but girl the time's too short. I will miss you, like fxck.

Tags replied,

Eileen, I will! [:
Joanna, okay. Link-ed

2009-07-03T00:12:00.002+08:00

Didnt went temple this afternoon, didnt get the chance to meet Xiaobee either. Went down to Yishun to meet KJ and headed to ChongPang to get Dear's memory stick, porch and also my pink lanyard! [: I am so into pink now, god knows the reason why.

And.....

Dear got me my Samsung F480! I used my money, which I wanted to use to buy cosmetics for Dear's memory stick. I am super broke now, ]: Andand, Dear's gonna buy me my Nitendo DS, pink in color too! Yeapppppies. I love Dear many many many lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Okay, I must go to sleep because I want to go for job hunting tmr. I must get a job, Dear's job is getting more and more unstable alr!
I promise to meet Xiaobee tmr,
I promise Dear to find job tmr.
I want to get my makeups soon, and slippers, bags, clothings and many more.
So, anybody suggest what to get for Dear?
I am thinking of buying tops for him but, I wanna buy clothings for myself more! =x
Rah, i need to sleep. I am so, tired.

Tags replied.

Eileen, okokay! Will make time for you okay sweetie.
X.Rong, Donovan&Jafna, Thanks!
Wj. min's , I am trying my best. Meet up soon my Dear!

Rah, i love my samsung F480.
But
I love Dear more! Weeeeeeeeeeeeh.

2009-07-02T02:26:00.002+08:00

Can somebody like send me horses, dogs, pigs, and blahblah animals on Facebook as gifts from either Farm ville/Farm town pretty please? I am starting to play Restaurant City too! Muhahahahahahaha, so fun. I cant get to sleep, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
My schedule for today is full, [: Like finally I can get a chance to be super busy.
1. Need to go down to ICA building to get my IC done.
2. Go temple.
3. Meet KwanBeeshi before 5pm at Tpy.
4.Go down to Sembawang to get PSP for Dear.
Yes, I think I donthave enough time today. Anybody wanna spare me some time, so that I have more time today? Okay, I am crazy. I want to take pictures with KwanBeeshi later orelse I will have to wait for donkey years later. Sigh]: This is one of the problems why I couldnt get to sleep.
Today's Ahwei's court day. Too bad, I dont think I have time to go for his court. All the best, my friend. I will be waiting to hear your sentence and also, the you after you come out.
Sighhhhhh, I miss JoeyChuaCherylJiaer sooooooooooo much! 2more weeks to her discharge, wonder how many weeks/months later do I have to wait to see her? Sighsigh, missyou my dearest baby girl.
I will be alone, after 6thJuly. Kwanbeeshi is leaving me for a long holiday at Changi. Fxck, TerngHuimin is having her holidays till next year Nov, JoeychuacherylJiaer will be moving chalet to Hougang till next year. I am all out alone, sigh. I promised TerngHuimin, JoeychuacherylJiaer& Kwanbeeshi I will be good and be out here, waiting for them. I must keep my promise, jiayou B.ell you can do it.
Sigh, Sister I will miss you so much.
I am starting to miss those old good days in SGS, those stupid days at Value Hotel, those times we did case together, and those punishment we received all along. Sigh, girl you're the one that I label as sister, and will be the only one I call Sister from the bottom of my heart I guess. iloveyou lahhhhhhhhh.

Tags replied.
Eileen, Well we shall see how on 9th July okay? I will try to make time for you, if Ming dont come out and probably go for Waffles Icecream with you yeah. Sorry for not being able to make time for you recently.
Manman, Thanks!
Joanna, dont listen to Tavis! He's a liar. Lololol.

Okay, I am off to game.
I am getting my samsung F480 as promised, lovelove!

2009-07-01T01:31:00.003+08:00

Please relink me, sorry for all the inconvenience caused!
PS: I am gonna eat prata w Dear now, blog later.
Yeayea, cheese prata anyone?

BACK[:
okay, i am super full after having prata with Dear at Block4. The cheese prata is super big, bigger than the size of my face. Muahahahhahaha. I hope everything goes well for my job interview, and I would get a respond from them asap! I so need to get a job soon lah, ]:
Anyway, I am having so much fun in Facebook for FarmVille, I want to join Restaurant City soon. Andand, I join Plurk! & Twitter. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, okay, I think I am too engross into computer games nowadays. I need to get a life laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
I want to go for work out at gym, but Toapayoh Gym had close down for renovation till August. And, I have a sad news to announce! My samsung F480 might be delayed, ]: Because of some personal reasons. hais, sadsad.
nothing to blog.

KJ, you then always sleep luh.
Chiwawa, kawaii? please leh. Lolololol
Eileen, yeayea. how you planning to celebrate?
B.Steph, loveyou too!
Esta, add me on Facebook then I add you as neighbour! [:
Joanna, nope. Totally never go down, unless North4 like sometimes only luh. Never leh, I more&more guai wad.

2009-06-29T23:44:00.002+08:00

KJ, Good morning mah. -.- Lolol, when the fxck you wanna go find work uh?
Eileen, I want waffles too. But, super busy this few days need to find job.
Chiwawa, laogao say laogao lah. What chiwawa leh, lolol.
x.andrew, okokay! link-ed [:
Esta, yesyes! I want lots of tags [:
Joanna, where got more&more ahlian. I so good girl, hehehe. Yes, I left North long ago[:

I didnt go for job interview today, because I fall asleep after I wokeup earlier on until 6PM. Muhahahahahaah, I need to go for job hunting tmr! Neither did I went to meet B.Steph because I dont feel appreciated by somebody at all, I dont see a need to help someone who doesnt even bothers to text or ring me up, fxck you!
Anyway, I am playing a game on Facebook called FarmVille, veryveryvery fun. Its meant for boring people, I admit I am kinda boring when it comes to games. So, add me on Facebook and also on Farmville as your neighbour okokay?
I wanna go play Audi&Farmville alr, I need to sleep soon because Dear wants me to wake up early for interviews tmr, nightnights! [:
6more days to my samsung F480 [: Loveloveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,

2009-06-29T08:09:00.002+08:00

Donovan, I was sleeping when you called. Lolololol! Wanted to ask you out, today.
Aaron Lim, I assume you're my cousinnnnnnnnn. [:
x.andrew, how to tag you when you never leave your link?!
Manman, Okay. No problem [:
Esta T: Thanks, seeyou soon keai.
Joanna, yeah! Long time no see uh, thankyou.

CHIWAWA, who are you?

Wowow, more&more people tagging me! Weeeee, I am so happy. Thankyou, so so much! Lovelove lah all of you[:
Okay,I have several issues to blog about so badly.
1.My ex-boyf was caught, think few days back. His girlf called me, to assure to about her waiting for him, and him helping her to cover up because they did case together and blahblahblah. Let me get this straight, I didnt like to be involve in the both of your relationship in the past but I had no choice but to. Until the day I left, then I felt so relieved because I donthave to be stuck inbetween you both anymore. I dont care if you're waiting for him or not, and if you've to wait for 3or 5years because thats YOUR fxcking problem. Please dont put your pains onto my happiness, because I am sure you wont be happy to hear or see me putting my happiness on your pains. If i ever did so, I am just returning you, what you gave me in the past. Sister or sticker, is notwhat you use to call me. You choose me to be your sister, but I determine you as one or not.
2. Some young punk trying to act hero and smart of Jiaer's blog. Eh, for gods' sake I am not from Bugis ok! And, I dont have back ups at bugis, the fact is that I do know some people there, but that doesnt means that if I have problem I need them to come down to settle it for me. Look, we make choices for our life okay. And, I dont see a need to call them down, because I have my own brothers/sisters who're more willing to help me, and I am independant. I can still stand tall alone, with xinyi&ahru. So, stop being a retard. You're acting like a computer warrior because You're nothing at all. Fxck
3. So what even if you've alot of boys/girls under you, get this straight on your face la.I SEE YOU NOTHING, AT ALL. Because of what I used to heard about you, nobody sees something in you at all. Other than you forever being a BoatQuay, drinking and getting into lots of trouble afterthat. It doesnt proves you being eh-kan okay, if I drink too much I am sure what you can do is what I can do also. BUT, what I can do might be something you can never do sxcker. Calling us dog? Please, you're a dog. Worse than a dog larh, you're making not only your reputation a loser but also your boys! Mother fxcker.
4. TPY Xiaobee, you better watch your mouth okay. Stop being xiasuay lah, total disgrace to the name Xiaobee okay. Nobody can stop me from doing what I want. NOBODY. So, stop acting like a big shot when you're like nothing to me?
I am being so stuck up. wohooooooooooooooooooo.
Okay, I vented my anger. I am gonna accompany Dear awhile and go home to bath and start job hunting uhhhhhhhh. Anw, Michael Jackson is sooooooooo cool when he dance.

2009-06-28T09:03:00.002+08:00

Okay, I am too lazy to upload all of the pictures because I am super tired. I wont be sleeping, because I will be having my breakfast with Grandparents later. I will be awake till night, so that I can sleep early and wake up to find jobs tmr. Remember, I am suppose to start finding job rightrightright?
[PS: KJ&ZHIQUAN, ADD ME ON MSN THEN I SEND YOU THOSE PHOTOS.]
I am at Dear's place blogging, and perhaps Audi later while waiting for Grandparents to wake up from their beauty sleep, I am tired! I need to go for a hair cut, dye my hair and also rebonding. I hope to get it done today, so that I can present myself well for Monday's interview(s). Remember I mention before that I am getting Dear a psp? Heeheeee, I sort of got a seller already. And... its KJ ![: He's selling me his PSP at cheapcheap price, which I am not going to reveal incase Dear reads my blog. Weeee~ Another burden off me, thanks in advance, KJ [:
Okay, we went to Sahara just now located at Boat Quay for Sheesha. Yes, we enjoy sheesha alot and will be going back there for Peach sheesha probably next month. We will be getting job soon, and I dont think I will be working with them either. Orelse, i will like not focus on work so I probably get another job instead. Anybody have jobs to intro? I am looking for office or retail. If retail, best is selling clothes/handph. So that, i can sit down. Hahahahhahaah, I am super lazy & thank-youuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
I realise the number of viewers is jumping , but i dont receive any tags. ]: Even if you're passerby, you can also just tag to comment me regarding my blog rightrightright? Okay, I am getting sleepy alr. Yawns, but I am going to pesever. I am going to Audi, tata~

2009-06-28T06:27:00.002+08:00

B.Steph (: , Lolol. yesyes, see you soon. Lovelove!
Liinqx, Hahaha you dontknow who de lah. Lolol, i left my contact on your friendster. Loveyou too.
Eileen, Muhahaha, then how you celebrating? Yesyes! Waffles[:

i went to Boat Quay, had sheesha and drank alil. Saw alot of people there, woots~ funfun. Will upload pictures tmr, i want to accompany Dear to sleep now. Nights[:

2009-06-27T09:59:00.002+08:00

I have the urge to blog so bad, i dontknow why. Probably because Dear had gone to work and I am alone stuck in his room. Couldnt get to sleep because I am super full. I feel so blessed to have Dear with me, really. I cant imagine what would had happened without him. I dont want to live without him either, I dontwant to lose him.
Dear finished work last night around 4AM, He could had gone home to sleep knowing that he have to work in the morning, at 9AM. But, he didnt. He went to my place, to fetch me over to his place. Stayed awake because I was playing audi and he couldnt sleep well, which I didnt realise until he asked if I was hungry at 7am, and went down to get me breakfast. Came back, I had breakfast and decided to watch him sleep. He slept, and I was using busy playing Audition again, with earpiece plugged this time. After a while, Dear's korkorh came in and woke him up for work at 9AM. Dear hardly got to rest, and he finishes work at 6pm and will be starting work at 10pm again. There's no time, and enough rest for him yet I had been complaining that he had not been spending time with me. Sigh, i think I really failed as a girlf ): .
I should be more sensible, to find a job soon. I shouldnt be giving Dear so much headaches, by causing so much problems and being so hot tempered. I shouldnt be always asking for Gucci&stuff, so that Dear dont have to slog for his life. I should be treating Dear better, instead of always biting and pinching him. I should be hugging and kissing Dear more often, instead of always waiting for him to take the initiative. I should be learning to appreciate and treasure Dear more, because I know I shouldnt be losing another good guy because of my ignorance.
I am sorry Dear, for neglecting you and not trying my best to understand you. For being so ignorant and unsensible, for not being sensitive towards your feelings. I want to tell you that, i love you so much from the bottom of my heart. But, because of my past experience of my failed relationships thatswhy I didnt dare to show you how much I love you. I am sorry Dear.
I promise you that I will be more sensible, by getting a job and not giving you too heavy burdens and I am doing all this because I love you Dear. I am sorry, mylove.

2009-06-27T05:09:00.003+08:00

Sorry for not blogging last night, because I was super tired and went to sleep after few rounds of Audition, I am lacking of sleep lately! Had some problems earlier on, Dear was super unhappy. Because, he warn me several times not to get involve but I still got involve because Baobei Steph was involve, and she's Xiaobee's god-sis. Anyway, i fxcking hate the tpy Xiaobee can, can you just like fxcking change your name because you're like so different from the hougang Xiaobee? Such a disgrace lah, pukes* I fxcking dont like you, and dont care who likes you, and dont even give a fxcking damn if you see this or not. Bear my words in mind, save the last text I sent you. I MEAN, WHAT I'VE SAID. You might have just unestimated me dumb fxck.

Anyway, i am getting my Samsung F480 in 8more days timeeeeeeeeeee. [: I cant wait, and Dear might delay if his pay delays butbut I am getting that phone for sureeeee. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ Zhizhi booked out today, and texted me for the first time? I know its because he's bored, thatswhy he would have texted me checking out where am i. Darling booked out, but she didnt text me! Sigh, ]: She might have been to busy to remember me. Was suppose to meet up with Xiaobee, but last min she had something on and headed to Yishun instead. Oh, i miss my crazy girl! Anyway, school is starting for secondary school students on monday and it will be my job hunting day! i need to get a job, so badly. Because,I have alot of stuff to buy. I wanna get tops for Dear, a psp for him, a Nitendo for myself andand more clothings too! I want to get a gucci bag&wallet, coach's porch and start having some savings too! Okay, its time not to be lazy and start job hunting. I guess, I had enough of fun alr.

Alright, I am off to Audi liao. Guess, I would be meeting Xiaobee&Huimin tmr uh?

I miss Joker Darling, ]: I want to take loads of pictures with him.

I want to meet up with Russell for drinking session on my house, I want to take pictures with him too!

I want to meet up with Zhizhi&Tavis soon.

I want to see Wong Jia Rong soon.

I want nothing to happen to Keith Wu.

I just want 1more day of fun with the old Serangoon North clique, one day with moments captured would be more than enough.

I miss the past, so much.

Eileen: Er, okay. Will update you! [:

Aaron Lim: You which Aaron? My cousin or?

2009-06-26T03:30:00.002+08:00

Hello![:

Wellwell, theres' nothing for me to blog. I've changed my blogskin again, cause I dislike the other one. I am planning to buy a psp for Dear, I am thinking if I should get a red or black one. I want to get a Nitendo, pink or white. Hmmmm, really dontknow if I should get which colour because I wanna play super mario! [:

I met up with Keith&Millieprecious last night. Hahahah, I played Mario with her Nitendo. Sooooooooooooo fun, and I am craving to get it. I want to get a job, urgently! I want to buy tops for Dear also, he's lacking of Tops. Rahhhhhhhhh~ Okay, will blog later. I want to Audi!

2009-06-23T17:06:00.002+08:00

Hello![: I went home yesterday, couldnt stay at home long so decided to text KJ to ask where was he and stuff, and He asked me out for a drink. Jovan came along too, and we went Arab street for Sheesha! [: At a Altazzag Egytian restaurant, we 3 ordered a drink called Karkade. Its made of Hibiscus or something, taste quite funny at the start but not bad at the ending part. Probably because the drink we concentrated, and diluted in the end. NICENICE[: We had 2 sheeshas, appe mint and double apple, not very good. I prefer the ones at Sahara, super niceeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Lets go Sahara next time, okokay?
Then we headed to Geylang Lor19 for Frog porridge, suggested by Dear. Because I was complaining that I never had Frog porridge before! SPONGEBOB, wait for you to bring me there, my boyf did so! Rahhhhhhhhhhh. Hmm, my handph 's batt was low when we reached there. Because Jovan's phone was spoilt, and he used my phone for phone calls. KJ's was flat at Altazzag, and he used mine too. I on music and took pictures, who's phone wont flat uhuh? And, Dear was reminding me that, MAYBE we can get my F480 earlier because Government is giving them money. Winks* Anyway, the frog tasted like scallop lah, super nice. I think, I will crave for it again. But, the gravy is super salty. Met Russell there, was angry with him because he was gambling and lost abit of money at the start. ThankGod, he won back. Rahhh~
Then we headed back to Toapayoh Roof Garden to slack, the boys were talking about fishing and blahhhh, I was busy reading my news paper. Then, police came to screen. Dear had some records in 2003, and they check him. Found contraband cig but didnt fine him or whatsoever, its the first time I got screen at Tpy and they check us so throughly lah! They checked my bag too, every apartment of my belongings because I had records for CNB and, they found cig in my bag too. But, Singapore's and they didnt fine me or whatsoever. Lucky!
I am going to get my IC done, Grandpa is paying it. Woooohoooooo~ But, i guess this time I will keep my IC at home, to prevent myself from losing it again! Sigh, i miss Baby cannnnnnn. I got so much things to tell her lah.
ANYWAY, I NEED TO DO A SURVERY WITH EVERYONE! PLEASE HELP ME BY TAGGING BACK OKAY?
How to make a guy, feel loved ? Thru speech or lil action?
Because, Jovan&KJ told me that guys only feel loved if you tell him that you love him. Isit true? I wanna make my boyf feel loved, because many told me that I've got a great boyf. I believe so too, I wish I could share this joy with Baby laaaaaaaa. So many people went in, feel so upset lah. But, theres' nothing I can do right? The only thing I can do, is be good and make sure I wont be the next one in. Sigh, i miss all of you. I swear.
I miss Keith Wu, Wong Jiarong, Joey Chua Cheryl Jiaer, Kwan Beeshi, Shaun Ho Ruijie, Terng Huimin, Kaijie, so many others lah!
i miss the fun, i had in AMK, Serangoon North. sighsigh, but everything had change and probably this is the good start of 2009. The painful start, probably the sweet ending rightright?

2009-06-22T16:43:00.002+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~ I didnt go for interview today, ]: Dear&I watch the Grudge3 last night and I was so scared, but I laughed at the horrible looking female ghost. She looked so funny at point of views, HAHAHAHAHA. And, thats the reason why I couldnt wake up at 8am, despite the fact that there was 2alarm. Dear didnt wake me up either!
I need to go for interview tmr, I swear. Okay, i dontknow what to blog about alr. Will blog probably tonight or tmr, because I dontknow if I should go home or keep Dear accompanied. ]:I bet Grandma misses me sleeping at home, sigh]:

Eileen: Its heart shape lor, LOL. Hmmm, will update you tmr via sms okay? Lovelove,

2009-06-21T20:56:00.002+08:00

Donovan& Me! On the way to Geylang, in the bus. I look soooooooooo good girl right?

At Donovan's daddy's shop outside, while waiting to be served! [:

All the above pictures taken with Darling, at Darling's place. I stayed over at Darling's place to accompany her last night, it had been a long while since I stayed over there! Lolol, we took alot of pictures but the rest are too ugly to be shown. Hahahahah, i'am so fat! ]:

I upload pictures as promised! [: I kept my promises okay, Lololololol!
I want to go for an job interview tmr, I need to go for one! I have to start work soon, so KJ faster plan our outing lah dumb-fxck. I want to go swimming before I cant swim anymore, I want to take alot of pictures laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah~ So, better faster okay?
I went for lunch with my family just now, opposite Block79D the BahKutTeh, not very nice. I prefer the one at Balestier lor, but nevermind. Saw my Ahsan uncle, Lolol he's getting fatter and fatter just like meeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I think alot of people is putting on weight uh? I swear, I must slim downnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
Okay, I miss Baby.
I miss her so so so so so much. I went to print our pictures just now, weeeeeeeee! I am going to print more pictures, winks* Alright, I want to rest. I am super full lah, ate alot just now. Byebye[: Lovelovelove, 2more weeks! ( My samsung F480)

2009-06-21T11:27:00.002+08:00

blogger doesnt allows me to upload my photo directly from blogger! I need to upload into photobucket, and then use the html code to upload into blogger, such a hassle! Rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~ I am rushing to have lunch with my family, I will upload it tonight okokay?
I promise, Lovelove!
Eileen: Yesyes, I will invite you for my wedding if I am getting married okay? I will let you be my child's godma. Lololol.
Wow, my child have so many god-parents laaaaaaaah! [: Winks*

2009-06-20T19:10:00.002+08:00

Okay, finally blogger allows me to blog! I had been trying to login to blogger for the past 20mins, but to no avail. Like so finally, because I am on the verse of bursting already! Haha, I went geylang yesterday for ma you ji. Its chicken cooked with sesame oil, at Lorong15. I forgotten the name of the coffeeshop, but its open by Donovan's daddy. Superb nice, but its kinda spicy because theres' alot of ginger and pepper. I heard for Grandma that its good for those who have low blood, I hope it helps because I kept having black outs, and feeling giddy lately. I dontknow the reason why, I had been sleeping well and having my meals on time! I have no choice but to have my meals when I am with Dear, orelse he would be sooooo angry.
Anyway, i am too lazy to upload pictures I took at geylang last night. Will upload soon[: Dear was angry with me last night, because I went to geylang and didnt have any ways to go home. Jovan left with me knowing! I ate alot last night, plus I bought Dear's cig thatswhy I didnt have enough cash to go back home. Furthermore, theres' a stupid guy who touched my legs last night, I complain to Dear and he's was so pissed. He said that, He wont allow me to go geylang ever again without him! ]: So.... Lets go Boat Quay next time, okokay? Lolololol.
Ohyahhhhhhhhh~ Dear paid a deposit for my Samsung F480, its not that he cant pay full sum of it. Just that, if he pays full sum for it then we would have to srimp and save for this week which Dear doesnt wants to. Even thou, its a 2nd handph, but its in good condition and has warranty still because Dear knows that guy who sold the phone, [: Dear bought the one in pink for me, andand we'll be getting the phone on our 1st month anniversary! Which is on the 5th of July, 15more days! lovelove[:
Another shocking news~
Me&Dear decided to probably gets engaged this year! I know its abit too fast, but I am still thinking about it because Dear cant wait to be a daddy, but i am not pregnant yet okay! I told Dear that if I am pregnant, we will keep the baby if its a girl and abort if its a boy. Dear said NO straight on my face, he said that if I am pregnant and wants to abort, we shouldnt wait to see if its a girl or boy. We should just get it abort, but I was afraid that I cant give birth anymore if I go for abortion, but Dear says that I will get pregnant even if I abort because its the 1st time. Okay, Dear and I're so crazy to think about this! Hahahahahahahhahahaha.
I might be moving into stay with Dear once I start working, because if I dont... I dont have time to meet up with Dear! I will miss him like fxck, and only get to see him on my off-days. But, I will miss Grandma&Grandpa soooooooooo much. Rahhhhhhhhh, I need to make up my mind laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahszxszxszxszx. Okay, I need to spend time sitting down and think about my plans. I need someone to help me to make up my mind laaaaaaaaah!

Tags Replied --

Eileen: Well, we ought to make up time for one another instead of spending time with our boyf(s) before I start working !!! [:
Donovan: Lol, you're welcome. We didnt went swimming anyway, }: I wanna go for a swim before I start work lahhhhhhhhhhhh.
Jafna: I dont have your number too, you could have asked from Darl!
Noel: Yesyes, my boyf's place has a spell that actually makes you hungry here, all the time.
T.HuiMin: Yes darling, imissyou&Jiaer so much cancancan, I need to talk to someone too! I am sorry for not being able to make time for you lah, sorrysorry. I donthave a chance to tell you that I've got boyf and who is he! Will meet up with you soon, to update you okay? Lovelove,
KJ: You're forever spending time with your girlf ! Rahhhhhhhhh, which is good for your girlf but bad for us! You bloody bastard, better meet up with me and have another outing soon before I start work uhhhhhhh.
Donovan: No? Nothing's wrong, thats for your songs my dear.

Oh, I am so pissed with those YP(s), spamming at Baby's blog. For Gods' sake, you guys're so lame can? She's alr serving her sentence inside, why're you whining so much out here? If you guys really want to find trouble with her, just come to me. Stop all your acting gangsters on internet. Say until wu leng wu hor, buay siao gan can. Just fxck-off and die.
I miss you baby, }:

I need to meet Xiaobee soon.
I need to make time for Darling.
I need to meet Eileen for waffles.
I need to meet Sharon to catch up.
I need to find a job soon,
because I need to start saving for me&Dears' future.
I need to buy more clothes despite the fact that Dear will complain.
I need to buy new heels,flats&bags because Bugis have so many pretty clothes that caught my eye!
I need to do somthing to my hair,
I want to rebond my hair,
I want to dye my hair,
I want to cut my hair!
I want to go for facial,
I want to go for Medicure.
I want to put new tattoos!
I want to buy Bebe's top,
Gucci's bag&wallet,
Coach's porch.
I need to buy something for Dear&my 1st month anniversary lahhhhhhhhhhhh.

Rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~

2009-06-19T20:53:00.002+08:00

Okay, i love Dear so much cannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. [:

He's buying me Samsung F480 lahhhhhhhhh. Latest will be next month, earliest tmr!

Wooohoooooooo~ I am going geylang with Donovan&Co, will come back with pictures.

Lovelove, [:

Dear, you're one in a million. Ohmygod, iloveyou so much. Not for your money, but for the love you had been showering me for 2weeks, iloveyou and wanna be with you forever. I am not going to care, what others will say. iloveyou, because you brought me out of my phobia. thankyou so much.

2009-06-18T16:57:00.002+08:00

I am so sad.
Bigfatpig is asleep! He told me to wakeup early this morning so that we can pack the room, but he's like dead on his bed! Angryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy~

I want to buy new make up(s),
Concealers, ZA foundation, mascaras, Sillkygirls' blushers, gel eyeliners.
I want to buy dress, mini-skirts, tops, bottoms!
I want to get flats, heels.
I am dying to get M)phosis's transparents bag since dontknow how many donkey years ago.
I want Gucci's bag.
I want to get Coach's porch.
I want to go for waffles ice-cream with Eileen&Jafna.
I want to buy my god damn samsung F480.
I want to buy the god-damn digital camera for thousand years ago.
I need to get a fxcking laptop soon,
so I fxcking need a job.
okay, my dear woke up.
imma gonna complain to him!!!

2009-06-18T14:29:00.003+08:00

Jiaer is sentence to girls home remand for 1month, 1year gracehaven, 1year probation. Which means that, she'll be discharge on 16th July, 2011 if nothing goes wrong. Hopefully, she'll be taking goodcare of herself, and will not be confine. }x Xiaobee's case is postpone to 6thJuly, and higher chance of being sentence into Changi Women Prison for 18months. Sigh, which means that it be taking a long time before the 4 of us, can gather as one again. I feel so upset, really!
I went Jeanz on tuesday night with Dear, as he went for his colleague's birthday and also the place he's working. I was bored to the max, I swear! ThankGod, Tresharene was there with Bivi&Asaad for sheesha and I join them, instead of staying at the pub where Dear works.
Jeanz is an indian pub, and it only allows girls who're 21and above, boys who're 23and above to enter. I can enter because, my boyf works as an bouncer there! Dear quitted his 2nd job, because I didnt want him to work there so he actually worked more days for his bouncer job! Actually, he only works 3times a week but, he had been working yesterday, and will be working tonight, tmr night and saturday night! I dont know if I should be feeling happy/upset. I am happy because Dear is working so hard to buy me clothes and stuff that I want, and will be saving money for our future. But, I am upset because I get to spend lesser time with Dear, and he's forever so tired. Sigh, I really think I should go get a job. Dear says that he had been listening me saying that I will start to find a job very long ago, }x
I accidentally deleted my folder of pictures with Darling on Friendster! And, there dont seems to be anyway I can retrieve them back unless Darling have those pictures too! I promised Xiaobee that I will meet up to catch up with her before she goes back to report, sigh.}x Okay, I must get a job soon! I need to start working, in order to buy things that I want and to save money, orelse Dear will be forever so tired. RAHHHHHHHHHHH~
Ohyah, I was with Dear at a hawker centre at Toapayoh Lor8 this morning for his breakfast. He ate Nasi Lemak, and we were sitting infront of the stall. I saw the man frying some stuff, and he actually used the padle(the thing to fry the stuff) to push down the rubbish beside him into the dustbin and continue frying the food! Ohmygod~ And still, it was graded B ! I should have taken a picture down lah, god-damn-it disgusting!!
Me: "Wahlao, like shxt lor! No sense of hygiene. Dear, you still can eat meh? "
Dear: "Also wont die, -.- "
Me: " But, its like shxt? So damn digusting lor. "
Dear: " Then next time when you're hungry, go eat shxt! "
Me: "Fxckyou lah, I also never eat from this stall "
Dear is sooooooooooooooooo mean! And, he's asleep like so soundly behind me. Rah, I am hungry! I realise that I had always been hungry at Dear's place. I think he cast a spell here, like how Noel cast a spell at his house. Lololololol! [:
I need to meet up with everybody soon, before I start work! Rah, so please start arranging a outing soon soon! Before I start working because I will be spending my off-days with Dear, =x LOLOLOL.
Tags replied.
passerby: 'Cause we dont take pictures and our relationship is not stabled down to let anybody know who is he yet. [:
Donovan: Yeah, whatever. Alright, the fried rice was super delicious okay? NEXT OUTING, PLEASE?!

2009-06-15T16:10:00.003+08:00

Basically, the weather yesterday was great! We had so much fun, i swear. It been a long while since we all went to Sentosa, palawan beach. We took the chance to take lots of picture, as you can see. Zhiquan, Jerad, Jerad's friend, Donovan, Darren, KJ, KJ's girlf, Jovan, Noel & myself. Each of us was suppose to prepare something there, but only Jovan,Donovan,Darren&Zhiquan did. And, Jovan's potato salad was the most edible one. [x Donovan&Darren prepared fried rice, it taste quite delicious thou, but we was afraid of the process. Zhiquan's hotdog looked like burnt fingers, and tasted uncooked, -.- The rest bought drinks but, it doesnt matters much. The best part was, we had fun! Zhiquan was so willing to be thrown into the sea, burried under the sand that he didnt realise that his handph, earpiece and wallet was in his pocket. HAHAHA, so his handph practically went dead. Lolololol, poor zhiquan...
We saw fireworks, and they were so beautiful. I didnt manage to capture them, because my handph's battery was low }x. We decided to have another outing soon, probably book a chalet and I believe we will have lots of fun again! [: Anyway, we headed to ice3 for my waffles ice-cream with only Donovan,Darren,Noel&Jovan. I didnt manage to take pictures either, }x And, we wanna go either to Gelare or Billy bombers next time, for our ice-cream waffles&milkshakes. WEEEEE~ i cant wait for the next outing, and this outing made me broke for the week, SIGH}x I need to get a job soon, I want to buy clothings and go for more outings!
Okay, my bigfatpig is asleep again. Arghhhhh, we had a lil agruement last night but was alright after awhile. I am going to wake him up for lunch now, tatas~
PS: I will upload the pictures I took with you guys solo soon. Somethings wrong w blogger, I have to upload my pictures into photobucket and use the url link to upload into blogger. Its so troublesome, so I will probably upload the rest of the pictures tmr okay. Lovelove!
Or tag me, with your email address then I send them to you as emails.

I will reply to tags asap too.

2009-06-13T10:28:00.007+08:00

13 Jun 09, 10:22 Jiaer: plus i got to leave at 4. Sign, sorry baby. hope you understand . iloveyoualways ok.
13 Jun 09, 10:21 Jiaer: i would really like to me the 3 of you , im fine to go out now. but,bee & huimin not out. how?
13 Jun 09, 10:20 Jiaer: Baby. im so sorry ): i havent sleep since last night. and im fugging shag now. My dear, I had always been the one who plans for meet-ups with you girls and stuff. But, we had never ever succeed in doing what we always wanted to. I was sick of hearing you people say, meet up soon thus the reason why I took the initiative to meet up. You girls were forever complaining about me not having time to meet up, when I was busy with work. I haven slept since morning 5AM, had been trying my best not to fall asleep so that I could meet up with you girls instead of spending my day at home sleeping. And, this is what I got in return, -.- fxck. I am not blaming anybody, I am just expressing how I feel. I am sorry if I offended you, but cant help. This is the way I feel, and might not be the way you girls tried to comprehend to me. Forget it, we meet other days okay? I need to complain to Dear♥, but that lazypig is in this sweet dreams and I cant bear to wake him up! ]x I'am not trying to show off my boyf♥ here, I just feel so blessed to found him, and accept him. Thankgod, I didnt made the wrong decision, rejectt-ing the wrong person again. Because.... Dear♥ bought a powderish thing for my ulcer the minute the medicial shop below his place opens even despite the fact that he was fxcking tired due to his work. Dear♥ is working on 2jobs now, so that he can save enough money for us to go Malaysia next year, and for me to buy my F480, and clothes. Which means that less spending time with Dear♥ and he will be spending time working and sleeping more often. ]x Dear♥ will be changing a new handphone battery for me, as I complained several time about my phone's battery forever low after charging for super long. Dear♥ will be buying for Grandpa a Zippo lighter, because I wanted to get a Fathers' day gift for Grandpa but unable because I'am financial tight. Dear♥ make sures I eat everyday, before I sleep or he leaves me so that I will not get hungry later on. Dear♥ gave me $$, after I mention that I want to get a dress on thy-lust.blogspot.com and that I will be going out today and tmr. Dear♥, i want to tell you that I love you so much. The reason why I didnt want to work as because I was afraid of not being able to spend time with you, and that our feelings for one another will fade if we dont spend enough time together. But, seeing you work 2jobs a day really aches my heart and I decided to get a job as soon as possible. I will go for interview next week okay? Thanks for being so sweet, loving and caring towards me. Showering me with so much attention, I appreciate it. Trust me, i want nobody else holding my hand anymore. With you, and my dearest loved ones I'am satisfied. iloveyou, Dear♥.

2009-06-13T09:31:00.004+08:00

13 Jun 09, 01:42

♥Miillie ' Precious .: ** Sorry, re-linkedd '

13 Jun 09, 01:42

♥Miillie ' Precious .: r

13 Jun 09, 01:42

♥Miillie ' Precious .: R

13 Jun 09, 01:42

♥Miillie ' Precious .: r

Okay, thanks! See you soon.
13 Jun 09, 00:01

Jiaer: Baby. relink me, jiaeray-lastromance.blogspot.com
Troublesome leh you, -.- MUHAHAHAHAH

12 Jun 09, 13:47

Eileen: No replies from you! Wanted to date you out la. Kns. Maybe waffles too. HAHA. Gelare waffles rocks.
My dear, i didnt even receive your text lo. I never tried Gelare waffles before, i want try!!

I'am stuck at Dear's place, waiting for my dearestloveeeeee girls to have lunch with me! I had my breakfast with Jovan&Co at toapayoh last evening, it was my breakfast because I havent eat a single thing yesterday. We went to AMK for pool, walked around at Bishan and, headed back home. Was suppose to meet them to slack after going home to change, but I K-O on my bed after reaching home, and pangseh them. But, I'am sure that Jovan had fun talking to Xinyi at Roof Garden right? It was so romantic uhuhuhuh? Lololol.
I have so many pictures to upload, arghhhhhszxszx! And, I guess my outing with Baby,Sister&Darling would be cancel-ed because Darling haven leave hostel, no news of her. Sister is still stuck at her friends' place at Jurong, woke up gave me a call and headed back to sleep. And, Baby is waiting for her dearest boyf to wake-up before she decides anything. So, most probably we will cancel this trip and might not be able to see each another months later, FXCK }x I'am starting to feel upset about this, seriously I am sick of trying to gather the 3 of you together, planning stuff that suits all of you lah. I wish someone could have taken the initiative other than forever texting or commenting to meet up soon, REALLY! This is driving me crazyyyyyyyy. Okay, maybe I am just too sensitive.
Andand, I will be having a pinic session with Donovan&co at Sentosa either tmr or monday! Weeeeeeee~ It had been years since Donovan&I stepped into Sentosa together, this time I swear I am gonna take loadsa pictures andand hopefully by the time Dear bought the memory card reader, I really have loada pictures to upload!!!!!
Okay, outing with the girls in cancel-ed! As I've expected, I should just go and sleep soon. BUT, I AM LIKE SO HUNGRY? -.- I will leave Dear's house soon and probably find some clique of mine to meet up and go out with. Anw, I am suffering from 2 ulcers below my gums since yesterday, and it hurts so much. I rubbed salt onto it, and it was worse! I couldnt sleep or eat well because of it but I kept having the cravings for waffles ice-cream lahhhh. And Dear bought Golden strands water meon pearls power from the medical shop below his house to apply it for me and its better now[: Dear had been so sweet and caring lah! It been a long while, since someone showered so much love,care&attention on me. From the bottom of my heart, Dear I really appreciate it. I love you so much lah, really.
Happy 1st week my dear, iloveyou so much! This love is like what I never had before, and better than what Laosu gave me. I wish it will never end, and you will be like forever so sweet and caring towards me. Dote on me, and love me. ohmy~ iloveyou Dear.

2009-06-12T12:23:00.002+08:00

12 Jun 09, 10:44

KJ: dont stress..dont stress xD lets find one day..We all go out have fun! xD
Yes! Donovan is in charge of the plannings![:

12 Jun 09, 05:48

Donovan: it's not your fault it's mine. . . don't be stress . . .

12 Jun 09, 05:43

Donovan: i'm sorry . . .i just hope we wake up from this nightmare soon. . . .
Silly brother of mine, how many times do I've to tell you? No point pointing fingers at anybody anymore, what we ought to do most right now is to go thru this stage together. I believe, we're capable of doing it my dear. Stay strong, even thou I know I'am tired of all this but I'am hanging on because I believe theres' stil changes of salvaging this relationship of ours. We can still be back as brothers&sisters with Jovan&co, despite that we might not entirely be.

Okay, i am so happy with my blogskin ! Theres' still alot to edit. Ohohoh, later I will be heading out with Xinyi [[[[: I havent be sleeping for the past 19hours, I am not sleeping till tonight, then I can meet my dearest on time. Butbut, he's working tmr also! siansiansian, anybody wanna date me out? Pleaseplease, i am having cravings for wafflle ice-creammmmmmm. ]]]]]]x

2009-06-12T04:56:00.001+08:00

HELLO[:
I'am sleepy, nights!
I so need to upload pictures! Dear, hurry get usb cable for me!!!! }x
Oh, I miss you Sharon Dear!

2009-06-11T20:44:00.002+08:00

If I had a chance, trust me. I would keep every one of you, by my side. Like forever? I wish this cycle of everything would just have stopp-ed. I loved all of you, like a part of my body and not apart. However, I had to be selfish, as I can only protect a few of you but not all. I wish I was given a greater strenght and faith, so that I can stay by all of you.

I wish I can more than 24hours a day, I had too many friends to catch up with. Too many people to talk to, and many people to meet up with. I am really tired, seeing everyone I love going in to girls home, boys home, hostel, prisons. I dontwant this to happen, I dontwant to end up there either. I dont understand, why arent we created without emotions, then all this places wont have been created, Drugs would not had been created so that Xiaobee dont have to go in. Jiaer wouldnt had been so dumb to do so much as she felt loved by Xiaohai. Darling wont have been sent to girls' home, as her parents wouldnt have felt that she's defiant. Happiness make us feel happy for just a moment, while agony gets us stuck forever.

I lost Ran, that someone who taught me alot of stuff which I couldnt comprehend at first. But now, I understand. The meaning of what he had said, and the reasons for why he had been behaving in that manner since the time I knew him. The man without any emotions, and that everybody in this world 're hypocrites. Yes, finally I agreed and I admire him as much as before.

Good things always tend to come to and end sooner than bad stuff.

With all this happenings now, I had to be the pillar of strenght for all my love ones. I had to bear the pains of seeing them go in, one by one. I have to bear the pain of listening to them complaining about all this happenings. I cant be weak, as I cant drop. I had to stand strong, for all of them. Because, if I fall, I cant even be there for them. The only thing I can do now for them, is to be strong and stand by their side.

Kwan Beeshi.

Sister, I still remember how I met you the first time. It was the first day of school, when we were both secondary1. And, you was late for school and so was I ! I was from 1A1, and you was from 1T1 we sat right at the back of everybody. And, you super chao ahlian! Came to school with a small slingbag, dangling ear rings and golden hair! I was super good girl at that time, with backpack, long skirt and pinn-ed up hairs. I didnt like you when the first time I saw you, because you're like fxcking xialan lah! But,after knowing you I realised you're a super steady person lah! Remember the first time I smoked in school? Lol, we was smoking in toilet and we was so afraid that we would get caughted or sabo-ed. And, the first time we sat infront of the general office? I still remember them, and will never want to forget them. Because, thats the best times we had when we were in secondary school. Like how I waited for you when you admitted to girls' home when we were secondary1? I will wait for you, like how I waited. Girl, I will never want to forget you! Really, because at the low peaks of my life, you had never failed to be there by my side. I love you girl, really do.Please stop taking drugs after you come out, its ruinning your life my dear.

Donovan Quek.

Lil' silly brother of mine! I still remember the first time I saw you, you was running around in school like a little clown. I didnt liked you in the first place either, because I find you childish. But, after knowing you, I realised that you're quite matured in the mind actually. And Don, it really aches my heart to see you going thru this stage of life. For the past 4years I had been trying to protect from coming this stage. And, I had been blaming myself for being a failure god-sister for not being able to stop you from what you're doing. I really want the best for you, as much as how much you wanted the best for me in the past. Despite how tired I was for life in the past, you had always been my pillar of strenght. I doted on you, more than any god-brothers of mine. No point crying over spilt milk anymore, dont have to run away from reality. I believe all of us have our reasons for everything we do. Just that, we cant be accountable to everyone. We cant clearly explain everything to everyone because we are not feeling the way we felt when we was faced with the situation. No point pointing fingers, blaming anyone anymore. Get it over and done with, its better to have a friend than an enemy. Theres a price to pay, for everything. Learn from this lesson, this path of life that you was heading doesnt suits you at all.

Terng Huimin.

My dearest darling! Hahaha, I super dislike you from the first time I saw you. Because, you looked fxcking xialan and step power lah! I still remember I tio you, called you to come down to Serangoon North when I found out you comb-ed a girl from our school. Which was actually a excuse, I just want to tio you because i dont like you! But, after knowing you well with the help of your dearest jiejie, my dearest sister, I realised you're a super dumb girl and your pattern is almost like me lah. I still remember we go huga together, you was so shocked when I was seh lah! Hahahahahhahaha, silly girl! And, I stayed at your place for almost a month. We had been leading our life(s) like an owl. Sleeping in the day, wake up in the night. Ton till the next day morning, go buy contactcement, sniff glue alr then go sleep. Meeting up with Rongbiao at AMK, it was so fun in the past. We pon school together, slack in the school toilet during lessons and climbing the fence! Hahahahaha, we was so silly and full of nonsense lah! Alot of people say, you're the 2nd Mabel. And yes, I realise you're really like me. After you went in, my world was like teared apart. I lead my own boring nights at home, I find other people to replaced you and I realise nobody is up to it. And Darling, I had to bear thru the agony of waiting for you like how I waited for Xiaobee. I wish you had got probation, so that I can still stay with you and we can cuddle each another to sleep again! I miss you darling, I really do. Stay strong, and stay close. I dont want, and cant afford to lose you again. Nobody believes that you will change? I believe, and I will stand by you forever.

Joey Chua Cheryl, Jiaer.

My dearest Baby! I cant remember clearly when I first saw you, but I remember that I didnt like you because you had some issues going on with your dearest jiejie, Kwan Beeshi ! But, things were better after you&xiaobee cleared the misunderstanding. I still remember the first time I huga with you, HAHAHAHA! You almost cried because I scared you right? Hahahah! You know whats the biggest regret I have? That was to get you to come accompany me when I was staying at Value hotel. If I never did so, you wont have got to know Xiaohai, nevertheless to fall in love with him. And, all this wouldnt have happened to you. I promise you, I will wait for you like how I waited for Xiaobee&Huimin. You had been there for me, at the lowest peak of my life back in Value Hotel. I cant afford to lose you, again. Promise me, after this dont take drugs anymore, dont do all the nonsense anymore. Okay? Be good when you're inside, dont get cut for your homeleave(s), because I want to spend your first homeleave with you. Be good baby, i will miss you.

And, this will be the promise I will make to the 3 of you. I will be good, if I can. I will try my very best not to end up the same place as you girls despite the fact that you girls keep saying that the next one will be me. I will not touch those type of things anymore, as long as you girls dont do it. And, I will be right out here waiting for you 3. And, we will be never be apart. I will never forget you girls as you girls're a part of me already. Please be good in there, and faster come out! Because your siaozharbor, me? Will be waiting for you girls, i love the three of you.

I'AM SO BORED, MY FAT PIG IS OUT AND I'AM STUCK AT HIS PLACE BLOGGING. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

2009-06-10T08:43:00.003+08:00

Replies of tags. [:
10 Jun 09, 08:29

R: OMG I REALLY DIDN'T KNOW YOU GOT BF. THIS TYPE OF THING ALSO HIDE FROM ME. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

10 Jun 09, 01:21

ahhuang*: :D

10 Jun 09, 01:21

ahhuang*: relinked :LD

10 Jun 09, 00:03

liinqx: hey ass (: bell , relink-ed . lovesyou!!

9 Jun 09, 23:53

ahhuang*: hello bell bell no matter what i respect your decision hmm . promised me stay strong alright
Sure, thanks.

9 Jun 09, 23:07

Jiaer: you must miss me ok, promise to be good & take good care of yourself. always in my heart,baby.loveu

9 Jun 09, 23:06

Jiaer: My PO say my chance of getting probation very low. most probably hostel or girlshome

9 Jun 09, 23:06

Jiaer: Baby, i saw my name. so touched (: i love you ok. dont worry.whatever it is im always here for u(:

9 Jun 09, 22:40

Donovan: JIEJIE I MISS YOU !!!!!!! =(
IMISSYOU too my dearest ahdi! We shall have an outing real soon okay? Loveyou!

9 Jun 09, 21:13

Noel: hai yo take care la dun think so much
Lol, AHPUI !!! [: Tag me w your blog link leh, I lost it.

9 Jun 09, 19:42

ღJOVANN': 93251299

9 Jun 09, 19:42

ღJOVANN': Lol. U free give me a call lor
Text-edyou!

9 Jun 09, 16:58

Esta: Relink-ed . [:

9 Jun 09, 16:52

xRong: relinked !

9 Jun 09, 14:00

JAFNA ;: Hello . Relinked , takecare lots !

Firstly, a big thankyouuuuuu to all those who've relinked me!
Secondly, what stated in my blog stays in my blog. PLEASE, there's no need for other to advertise my blog's details to others.

I'am so shocked when I came across Xiaona's friendster profile earlier on, FXCK~! She's getting engaged on 8thOctober. I believe we drifted alot, thus the reason why I wasnt notified. Yes, we really drifted alot alot. ]: I believe friends just come&go, like passerbys. But, good friends stay by our side despite of anything we do. And, they dont just accept you for who you're, but corrects you when they see you doing something wrong. And, this're what I call genuine friends.
I'am the type of person that condemns hypocrites very very much. I detest those type of people, they doesnt likes you but when they see you, they will smile at you and talk to you as if you both're super good friends.
I believe, everybody will have different ways of handling stuff at different situation. And, we're unable to be accountable to everyone at times. Thus, causing others to feel that we're very fxck-edup, cheebyekia or whatsoever. But, look! Those're just words of anger, maybe we should cool down and wait for things to be better and sort them all out. This is the best way to solve an issue, unless you dontwant to maintain this friendship anymore. Good friends're hard to find, really.
I believe, whatever we do we ought to stay true to ourself. Despite the fact that I doesnt like Xiaohai, but I agree with a quote he always used. "Lighter can drop, title cannot drop." (In Hokkien) People who knows me well, I am a very straight forward person, and I detest beating around the bush. And, this tends to cause alot of problems because I always say the most mean stuff to others which tends to hurt their ego.
Alright, enough of whinning. I'am going out for job huntings today! [: Probably at Town/Bugis, I need to hurry hurry get a job asap!!!!!!!! And, I will be dragging people down to those places with me, so that I wont be so lonely. ):
JiaerBaby, I dont dare to promise you that I will be good, but I swear I will miss you if you go in hostel or girls' home. I will never forget you, and always keep you in my heart. I will wait for you, like how I waited for Xiaobee&Darling. And I assure you that, I will spend time with you before you go in and be the first few people you will see on your first home-leave. I dont wish to lose you baby, really. ]': The four of us, will never be apart.
Bestf, I'am sorry I neglected you. I explain-ed to you on MSN, you may feel that I'am coming up with an excuse. All I want to say, I still love&care for you as much as before. And its obvious that, there's a barrier between the both of us. And, thats the reason why I had been keeping my distance from you. Not because I dont care anymore, its just that I dontwant anything to affect you again. I hope you understand, iloveyou bestf.

OHMYGOODNESS! I FXCKING MISS TERNG HUIMIN&KWAN BEESHI! Can we like arrange an outing again, take lotsa lotsa picture before 16th? Pleasepleaseplease. ]x

DonovanQuek,DarrenQuek,NoelTan&co.
WHEN THE FXCK'RE WE GONNA ARRANGE AN OUTING AGAIN?????
Sentosa? Zoo? St James? Siam Disco? Bell? BBQ @ Sembawang/East coast?
Anything will do, provided that we take loads of pictures that day!
Andand, hopefully we would be able to get our old cliques to come along too! [:

Ohgod, I'am having cravings for waffles ice-cream @Ice3.
Jafna, shall we go eat waffles ice-cream on sunday? Lololol !

I miss the past, very much.

2009-06-09T07:15:00.004+08:00

This picture was taken last year, before Darling went Girls'home.

This picture was taken back in Secondary school, if I didnt remember wrongly, should be when we both was secondary2.

This was taken this year, at AMK Smalls. While waiting for ShaunHo!

Taken at geylang, Tavis' birthday.

When I was still stuck. Somehow, i miss you and care for you as much as before.

So randomly, I cant get to sleep. So I decided to change my blog url because I've not changed it for a long time. And, randomly I logged into photobucket and found all this photo(s). And, it really made me miss the past, so much so much. There're many pictures of the past in my thumbdrive and I want to get it back! I want to print all those pictures and keep them in a photo-album. Be it the good or bad memories, because they had become a part of me, a part of my life.
I've alot to say, alot for me to tell everybody how exactly I'am feeling. I hate to be like this. Baby's court will be on the 16th June, Xiaobee going back to report on the 17th. Donovan&Darren's police case is pending still, 2months later they have to report. Theres' still a long way to Darling's discharge, Tavis&Russell's ORD. I'am like so lefted alone, I really am. At first, I had serangoon north's clique with me, slowly everyone started to drift-ed and lots of stuff happen-ed, such as police case.
I moved on back to AMK with Ran&Clique, Ran was enlisted to army and after disown-ing me, I MIA-ED from AMK. Slowly, Kaijie,ShaunHo&Yichao had police case. Went in one by one, and I moved on.
Met Xiaohai, and everything just started to break up. I lost my family's trust, my dreams&goals.
I moved on with Ahwei, we was together, broke-up but still I stayed by. I didnt have the heart of following him long ago because I started to dislike Xiaoyan. And, obviously I moved on to Toapayoh, and I'am really happy here.
Everybody dotes on me, alot. But, good things always come to an end. Brothers got caught by police, with police cases pending now. I really hope the cycle of everyone going in will stop, I dontwant to be alone. I dontwant to lose anyone. I cant stand loneliness! I am selfish, I want to keep everyone around me.
If I had a chance to turn back the time, I would stop it before I meet Xiaohai. I swear I would have not be tempted by drugs again, I will study hard and prepare for my O(s). But, everything had happened, and this makes me Bell. All this complains make me a human, because thats what humans do, forever complaining.
I wish I could be perfect, I wish I could be more matured so that I wont have lost so many people in my life. I dont wish to lose anyone, anymore.
I need a job soon. Really do!

Love is a strange thing, ai qing bu fen nian ling. I finally understood, I wish the sweet start will never have a bitter ending. I wanna lie in your arms forever, going out for breakfast&supper with you everynight. I want you to be mine, forever. I dont seem to be able to see a single flaw in you. And Dear, can you assure me that all this sweetness, love I receive from you will never come to an end? I dontwant to break-down and cry like how I did for Laosu again. I fear of losing you.

2009-06-08T07:52:00.002+08:00

I miss alot of people, i swear.
I'am jobless and I need to get a job soon, because there're many things yet unfulfilled which was supposed to be fulfilled fxcking long ago.
I need to get my tattoos done, I still have 3more to go.
I need to rebond my hair, and dye my hair too because my hair isnt straight anymore. The color on my hair now is fxcking old alr.
GSS is here, I need to buy new clothings! It had been a long while since I shop for my clothes!
Arghhhhhhhszxszxszx, I wanna get a new wallet, bag(s), heel(s), flat(s), top(s), bottom(s) & dress-es!
I need $$$$$$$$$$$$$. ]:
but, i need to spend time with my loved ones!
All the job(s) aint suitable for me, I dontwanna get temporary jobs anymore.
I need a permanent job that suits me, because I need to start saving up for my private O next year!
I promised Tavis Lim Dexing that I will see him in Simei ITE in 2010!
I need to upload the picture we took at Siam Disco!!
Wong Meng Jzhi will be enlisted into army on 12th June, He was dead drunk on Saturday, 6thJune.
Lester's enlistment to camp is postpone due to his police case.
Theres' alot of misunderstandings that happen-ed between me&alot of people.
I admit that I had been too wild, spending most of my nights drinking or slacking with few brothers of mine.
I admit that I had been too ignorant, because I dislike the feeling of being made use like how I was made use.
I admit that I had been to rebellious in the past, and I had always been finding loads of excuses whenever things happen.
But, dont you people that this 're what human(s) do, thus making us imperfect?
Stop pushing blames on me or commenting about my life, because I'am fxcking stubborn and will never listen to anyone so easily anymore!
I will learn my mistakes only after falling down, and I'am sure I'am matured&sensible enough to think for my own.
I miss shaunhoruijie, kaijie, alexongzhian.
keithwuyuting, wongjiarong.
yeobaoling, chngjingmei, millieleeweiqi, tresharene.
sharonng, henglirong.
kwanbeeshi, ternghuimin, joeychuacheryljiaer.
donovanquek, darrenquek, noeltan.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, imissalotofpeople ]x

2009-06-08T03:14:00.002+08:00

7 Jun 09, 21:55

Esta: Boo . Meet me soon ! (: & HUIMIN too . (:
Suresure[:

3 Jun 09, 19:28

Eileen: I freaking miss you girl. Faster meet up, I got alot of rantings! (: HAHA
Okay, call me up lah!

2 Jun 09, 13:14

ahhuang*: hahas hahas , never wait le mistrust me ?
Lol.

1 Jun 09, 23:42

yiling: i am ah jian ex. btw, i wanna ask u something. amk got one girl call li min? 14 yrs old de..
Nope, I not in AMK alr

1 Jun 09, 23:42

yiling: ?

1 Jun 09, 23:42

yiling: hellos, rmb me

31 May 09, 18:00

Donovan: i'm confuse jie =(
about? call me, anytime[:

31 May 09, 17:23

T.Huimin: **** ):
Dont think too much darl.

31 May 09, 17:22

T.Huimin: Im not gonna think , not gonna contact (him) i realise he is damn selfish .

31 May 09, 17:22

T.Huimin: I cant forget (Him) you know right ?

31 May 09, 17:21

T.Huimin: Darling . I know what to do with myself alrd . I will be the same old me .

30 May 09, 15:21

Darren: eeyer ur picture so act cute de . so cute le still act
meet me soon korkorh! imissyou

30 May 09, 01:08

kj: take care
suresure, you too!

29 May 09, 16:50

T.Huimin: Tag , Relink relink . Sorry i keep changing :X
Again?

29 May 09, 14:47

liinqx: gal , tell you soomethings . you really pout on weight laa . LOL (: BUT STILL adoreble .
I know, arghhhhhhhhhhhhh]:

2009-05-29T04:21:00.002+08:00

This fxcking world is so realistic, I believe everybody feels the same way as I do. Whether anyone believes me or not, I'am willing to give up anything in exchange of ah*** or whosoever's freedom. This is the first time my life, that I feel so appreciated&loved by a group of people. Maybe it because I just overcome-d the lowest peak of my life, and this group of people appear-ed in my life. But, why does good things always've to come to an end so soon? I feel so tired, I feel like telling them "不管你们去到哪里，我也要跟。" But, this words have a huge responsibility, I cant leave my beloved grandparents behind to suffer.
Sigh, I feel so upset&lonely after their departure, I feel so uneasy not to receive any calls, anyone calling me waking me up of my beauty sleep just to disturb me up and accompany them for drinks. AHHHHHHHHHHH, I WANNA GO!!!!

And, I really hope everybody just co-operate. Please dont bomb anymore, I really dont want anything bad happen to anybody. Despite the fact that I may not be in good terms with everyone, but still I want the best for everyone. And, I believe this 're what familie(s)'re for.

Another thing I'am so stressed about is, LOVE. 对不起，我真的放不下。And Boy, you know how much it hurts to see what your blog is writing yet your sms-es are different? I dont understand why the sudden change in you, I dont understand what makes you suddenly fall in love with me again. Sigh, I really feel so helpless at this time. I'am already very stressed up by all this, but I dontknow what to do, i admit that at this point of time, I really need a shoulder to lean on and stuff, but your words&actions makes me feel worse. But, at my lowest peak of life, the first one I thought of was you. Teach me, what to do? Give me confidence, and show me the love you used to show from the start.

2009-05-29T03:08:00.002+08:00

okay, this picture clearly shows that I've put on weight!!!

Sorry for not being able to upload pictures for a long time.

Isnt Ritz like so adorable now? Ohmygod, seeing this baby-boy grow up makes me feel so old lah! ]: Okay, the fact is that I'am getting old alrd lah! Sigh.
Okay, I went to Old Changi Hospital with Jason last night. He came over to my place to fetch me out with his wife(bike?). We headed over to Orchard to rot, then to Flyers to rot also, and then to Geylang to find his brother. Then we head-ed to Old Changi Hospital with only the 2 of us! FXCK, I was super scared lah! It was my first trip out to a haunted place with only 2person. Nabei, I was really scared. We went up only the 2nd level at first, and I dragged him out. Then we head-ed to Changi to see ah-gua(gays). Then that idiot keep saying I scary-cat then I decided to head back OCH with him! I proudly declare that, we finished the whole of OCH with only the two of us! Then we head-ed home aftermath, then today I'am at JB ! At Jason's friends' place, rotting. ThankGod, I've lappy with me, and I can like blog and upload pictures[:

I miss my tpy grandpa, korkorh and manymany! I'am headin over to Malaysia to find them next week if everything goes well! Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.[:

2009-05-28T00:58:00.003+08:00

Indeed I'am very happy about my new changed of enviroment life.

First, I'am not reminded of Ran as I've moved out of AMK. Secondly, I feel much more appreciated at Toapayoh, w my new clique of brothers. Yes, I may often be the only girl that exist everytime we slack and stuff, but still I feel so loved&appreciated by them. And all this, I've to thank Lester.

However, things've changed. Good things will always come to an end very fast. Something huge happen-ed, thus causing many of us having to split for the time being. I seriously miss the past, when I go down to 75 and stuff. Everytime I go down, I feel so family with them.

SIGH, when can all the fun we use to have return? I ponder upon this everyday, not wanting to lose anyone of them anymore like how I lost everyone in the past.

I really wish, nothing of this sort happens.

I miss LaoGrandpa. ]:

2009-05-27T23:56:00.002+08:00

Tags replied -

24 May 09, 23:49Darren: hi stupid girl aw ar aw

Stiil aw? Fxckyou bodoh!
24 May 09, 17:35yeetong: hey , link (:
24 May 09, 16:00♥Miillie ' Precious .: Precious, I Miss Youu .{: Cheer up ' Rmb. Im always here '

imissyou too, thanks! [:
23 May 09, 22:47T.Huimin: Darling . when you hell meeting me ?

I need to talk to you.
23 May 09, 10:48lixin: JIEEEEE(:
23 May 09, 10:48lixin: JIEEEEE(:

HELLO MEI. [:
22 May 09, 21:47Don: Jie .... =]

Ahdi, lovelove!
22 May 09, 17:19ahhuang*: heyhey .that day me got two heart now only one heart ar ? boxim

Got love better than donthave right?

I'am super duper upset. Cause, alot bad things've been happening.

I hope, things will get better as time passes by.

I miss alot of places and starting to miss alot of people too.

Sigh.

I need a shoulder to lean on and pour my sorrows liao!

2009-05-22T04:38:00.002+08:00

TAGS REPLIED--

22 May 09, 04:19melvinn :D: Hmms, WHAT SIA. LOL!

What what, ihateyou lah okay! Somebody change alr luh!
22 May 09, 02:04liinqx: huh ? why , OMG pleasee don say me idiot . LOL . mises !!

Somebody change liao, sigh. }: Last time still want msg me, now dont even give a fxck if I die right?
21 May 09, 08:38ahhuang*: hahas . link link you up le .hahas . tc

Link-ed you too! {:

Was it my fault to change, thus causing everyone around me to change too?

Or should I just simplify things by saying that, everybody changes as time passes by?

I miss everything that was part of my life, in the past.

I'am starting to reminsce again, just like how I always did.

I miss you

2009-05-22T01:42:00.002+08:00

I miss you.

I'am starting to feel so remourceful. I miss Xiaobee, I miss my Siaozharbor so much. Nothing seem to be able to comprehend how much I miss her, I regret so much for not making time for my crazy woman, I regret not making time for that crazy girl of mine. I regret not contacting her, I regret not spending my birthday at V2 with her, I feel so bad.

Girl, why do I always've to lose you so suddenly? Why do you always keep your problems to yourself? Why didnt you share w me, all your thoughts, problems and stuff? Why did you just leave me, darling&baby so suddenly? Do you know how upset we feel, whenever we meet up? The atmosphere seems so weird, without you being they nagging, making so much noise, making the atmosphere so high that we all was drived crazy by you? We miss you girl, we miss you so so much.

I'am stuck at somebody's house right now, I had been thinking about the past for like a few days ago. I miss everyone, all my beloved clique. I miss being w them like how we've always been.

I miss ..

Serangoon North Clique.

AMK brothers.

I miss .. Xiaobee!

Sigh, Darl went in, followed by Baby, and then Xiaobee Sister, who will be the next one?

Hopefully, nothing happens later. If, anything were to happen I believe its all fated, and meant to be.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhszx!

}'x

x'(

SIGH.

Bestf, imissyou.

2009-05-21T02:42:00.002+08:00

REMINSC-ING

We miss you girl, we all really do.
Everything happen-ed too sudden.
I've so much to say to you, so many stuffs undone w you.
You still owe me a birthday gift, and I'am still waiting for it.
How many birthday(s) do I've to spend w/o you?
SIGH, Girl I should've took some time off to meet you.
Why is it that I've to always lose you so suddenly?
Why do you keep almost everything to yourself?
Why?
I'am sorry and I miss you, very much. }:

Many things've been happening, I dont wish to comprend.
I miss the past, I miss Serangoon Centra&North, I miss AMK.
I miss having my cliques around me, those that've never left me in the past.
But, everyone seems that they've chang-ed.
Sigh, I'am tired.
Both physically&emotionally.

--Stuck at Baby's place--

2009-05-21T02:40:00.002+08:00

Tags replied ;

14 May 09, 14:38Eileen: Wahahahaha, you're being missed (: Loves

Imissyou too! Text me alright{:
14 May 09, 13:58Passerby: Hahaha! We born on th same month & day

Oh, Hahaha.
14 May 09, 00:22xiaorong: MUMMY ! LINKLINK !

Link-ed you, son.
10 May 09, 00:43Clynston: Hahas. Just send me a msg kaez. 97123619

Text-ed you.
9 May 09, 21:07Eileen: Heys girl, don't so stress up ok? I can lend you a helping ear of you want ok? Cheer up. (;

Okay, thanks! {:
7 May 09, 23:31jiaer: baby,im glad that things have got better between us (: im really glad. i love you girl. thanks .

Yup, iloveyou too.
2 May 09, 10:21Star: Came to tag , haha {:

Hahah, Hello!
30 Apr 09, 22:43T.Huimin: darling , lol ! no lar , think too much .

Lol, Okay!
30 Apr 09, 19:31Eileen: Yeas, let's meet up soon with ming. (: Misses

Alright, {:

2009-05-09T17:24:00.002+08:00

Finally, I'am blogging again. {:
Had been feeling real down for t past few days, until I call-ed Jiaer's mummy to check how's Jiaer 's case on thursday night and got to talk to my silly baby! Finally I was able to sleep well, that silly girl never fail to make me worry for her. But Baby, as long as you're willing to change I'am so sure that I'll be supporting you and I'am sure Darling&Sister will do that too. :D
My world is falling apart, I'am getting sick&tired of life. Tmr is Mothers' Day and yet all I'am doing is N.O.T.H.I.N.G
I'am really tired, I swear.

2009-04-30T06:39:00.002+08:00

请不要分了以後还记得亲吻过的承诺
你的永久已不属於我
默默低头那时我很多话梗在喉咙
你的笑你的快乐不是我爱太多想太多
我能感受他比我适合
爱放了手我伪装冷漠比你先说分手
请原谅我原谅我不成熟
不爱你是藉口好让你离开我
请原谅我好想自私将你占有
一个寂寞就给我承受换你过更好的生活
请不要分了以後还记得亲吻过的承诺
你的永久已不属於我
默默低头那时我很多话梗在喉咙
你的笑你的快乐不是我爱太多想太多
我能感受他比我适合
爱放了手我伪装冷漠比你先说分手
请原谅我原谅我不成熟
不爱你是藉口好让你离开我
请原谅我好想自私将你占有
一个寂寞就给我承受换你过更好的生活
爱过恨过哭过也笑过
亲吻过你的脆弱
其实我比谁都要懦弱
原谅我必须假装爱错
别让时间倒流我怕说不出口
原谅我没有解释太多心痛
别无所求彻底忘了我爱原来要舍得
我难过
我才懂

I guess this song is how I really feel for now. I guess its impossible for me to wait to get back with you, I will be better off w/o you I guess. At least, I've still have pillars of strength like my beloved(s) to hold me up. It doesnt matters anymore, because Boy at least I was really fortunate to have you around w me in the past. I regret not cherish-ing each and every second I use have w you. I'am sorry, thanks for your wishing that I would be able to find a better guy. I wish you, all the best too. Remember to keep your promises next time, and dont make promises that you're not capable of fulfill-ing it anymore. :D

I'am stuck at Geylang w Laosu&Clifford. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!! :( I'am not feeling good, I miss my dearest one&only baby, Jiaer. Mother fxcker Xhai, go and die doggie. Curse your whole family die.

2009-04-29T20:47:00.002+08:00

Hello! Its my birthday today, yet I'am stuck at LAN shop blogging? Hahaha, I celebrated my birthday last saturday w my beloved(s)! We had steamboat at AMK, and headed off to Lip Disco w some of them only. We wasnt allowed into Lip because there was too many underage w us, and we head-ed to Mask and it was full-house! V2 was also full house, so we headed to Club678, Zhizhi&Tavis dedicated a birthday song for me and they we head-ed to LA Pub! Saw Barry&Daryl there, and that two monkeys gave me 3cups of Johnny Walker on t rock, I puked at t 3rd cup lah. Then, we head-ed back to Lip w/0 those underage monkeys to finish the remainders bcause my Russell bestf & Lester brother open it for me! :D

Thank guys, I had a enjoyable birthday. Despite the fact that I was fxcking drunk, BUT I really enjoyed it. :D

Thank you Tavis Spongebob, Zhizhi, Pradeep ahkor, Lester Buddy, Russell Bestf, Tracey, Ahru sister, Xiaobee Sister, Donovan ahdi, Darren ahkor, Clifford, Jerad, Noel brother, Alex Brother & alot to be named! Thankyou people so much.

I'am still feeling no good. Jiaer is caught all thanks to her fxcking boyf X.hai who got caught at Roadblock from what I know? And, He used t police-officer's handph to call Jiaer back to surrender! Silly Jiaer of mine, surrendered. Girl, we'll wait for you. Like how I waited for Xiaobee&Huimin, How Xiaobee, you&I waited for Huimin and now its our turn to do our part by waiting for you. Seeyou in one weeks time.

I still miss calling you dear, I dont understand why I'am still stuck in this crap. I hope you will be more capable of keeping t promises you made next time round. Whether we get back together or not, doesnt matters anymore I guess. Time will heal my wounds, but dont let our memories fade away because its impossible to find someone better than you anymore. Imissyou

2009-04-29T20:41:00.002+08:00

26 Apr 09, 09:34T.Huimin: Go home then say lar sis . you are making so many ppl worried about you , even if you'r out at least keep me in contact . can ?
25 Apr 09, 19:54jiaer: Huimin....i want to go home , but .. hais u all wont understand . sis takecare of yourself ok. i'll be back to see u k , i miss you so much ):
25 Apr 09, 13:28T.Huimin: Jiaer sister , can you go home ): im very worried about you , i swear .
25 Apr 09, 02:54Jiaer: nevermind, u wont understand ..

Girl, I understand. All we need is just to meet up and sort everything out. I will wait for you, like how I waited for Huimin&Xiaobee in the past. Come back soon.
25 Apr 09, 02:54Jiaer: but i miss my family and friends . im really confused girl . i didnt want things to turn out like this , the friendship between me , you & xbee . but i really dunno what to do .
25 Apr 09, 02:53Jiaer: seriously,i've got no choice . i didnt want to either . just to have fun, i lead myself into this without thinking . at this time , i cant choose to leave already. i dont wanna leave him all alone .
25 Apr 09, 02:45Jiaer: thanks . i know they're worry about me . im very stressup either . hais .. you wont understand. what happen to u and laosu ? he go court for ?

My dear girl, no matter what happens I wish t best for you. Now that you're in court, I hope nothing but the best for you. I miss you my girl, I miss having you around whenever xiaobee,huimin & I meets up. I miss you so much, really. I've got so much to explain to you, so much to tell you. Girl, we miss you.
20 Apr 09, 22:51Eileen: Girl? It seems so complicated here la. Haiyohs. Immature kids (:

Dont bother about them, it doesnt bothers me at all.
20 Apr 09, 00:41liinqx: girl , misses me ma ? =)
20 Apr 09, 00:41liinqx: knn ,, why small kids came & have fun mehx ? ccb lo , not mature yet i guess laa . never brush up everyday laa , ****ing damn smelly lo .

LINGX! :( Many things happen, I miss you.
18 Apr 09, 23:49bell: hope you are capable of playing game, call me asap . WU JI COME ONLY
18 Apr 09, 23:48bell: 97472073
18 Apr 09, 22:36Donovan-/:: wow what rubbish you talking about here smelly sia =X
18 Apr 09, 21:31/:: & lim bei karen luh hors ! buay song come find me luhs , no worry i also got go central der .

FXCKYOU BLOODY BITCH. GIVE ME A FXCKING CALL, MY NUMBER IS ARLD OUT. I'am not hearing anything from you doggie.
18 Apr 09, 21:30/:: the wall & die man ! digusting b*tch !
18 Apr 09, 21:30/:: lan jiao ! ownself call me call you then now don't want give . you hum ji sibo ! bloody plk , kanna fcuk & throw by ahwei . ahwei want xiaoyan also don't want you siol . lol , you can jolly well bang
18 Apr 09, 10:03Eileen: Babe, cheer up yeas (: There'll always be a rainbow after a rain. Smile yeas? Misses

Missyou too. :D Thanks
17 Apr 09, 18:33LIRONG: sure! give me a call babe!

WHERE YOU DIE TO BITCH! ):
17 Apr 09, 14:33Donovan: JIE !!!!!!! 2009 starting bad but the ending is beautiful =]

I hope so. Sigh
17 Apr 09, 11:54nobody: lolx life will be better de , jux cheer up (:

Thanks. :D

2009-04-16T22:54:00.003+08:00

16 Apr 09, 16:50

to /:: cn eu jux fxck off nt !
Nevermind about this type of peanuts. Lolol.

16 Apr 09, 08:50

/:: down*

16 Apr 09, 08:50

/:: leave dowm your number then .
Leave your god-damn-it big name lah, motherfxck. Give me your number lah, I call you.

I'am worried about so many people. SIGH, I didnt expect 2009 to be worse year compared to 2008. FXCK

2009-04-15T19:37:00.002+08:00

The one who has the capability to control one's emotion.

Had home for the past few days, watching tv, spending time w my lovely Grandma! :D I guess, it had been ages since I last stayed at home for days. As I start to grow up, I was too "into" my own life, that I actually neglected my family members. I didnt know that by spending some time at home with them, actually cheers them up. After going thru so much for past few months, the only group of people that actually stood by me was my Grandparents. I'am so grateful that I've them by my side, seriously.

I feel so thankful that I've a "young" Grandpa with me, someone who I can share everything with him, about my pai-kia life, about my love-life, about me taking drugs, I shared everything with him. And, he never blamed me, for doing any of this and forever willing to lend me his shoulder to lean on. And, I would to find a boyf like my Grandpa, :D . Someone understanding, loving, doesnt sweet-talks and is hardworking.

I've been so depress lately, Laosu&I broke up on monday. He was going to court on tues, he text-ed Xiaoyan to get her to pass message to me. I guess, its not important right? What I would want to say to you is that, this is what you choose. You're the one who doesnt treasures this relationship this time round. You're very certain about how I felt about you, I was serious this time. I was willing to go thru every up(s)&down(s) with you, yet you would rather go thru all this hardships alone. Alright, then so be it. If, by tonight you dont give me a call then dont come back blaming me for changing my mind so fast, you choose this yourself. Take great care.

Jiaer, your mummy've got operation so does your Granny. Please, cherish your family members before you lose them.

2009-04-14T19:26:00.002+08:00

Do you know how much Huimin yearns to see the four of us again like t past?X.bee,You, Huimin and I? X.bee was my sister, You was my baby, Huimin is my darling. And, I really miss those type when we shared everything we have in our hearts together, we was so close. How much she misses t past, everything we did at your house. Remember t first time we sniff-ed glue together? You was so shocked by me, haha. The first time we climb-ed out of school fence together? Girl, please go home. I believe like what xbee said, there's a BIG misunderstanding between t both of us. And we ought to solve this shxt soon, think about what happen recently, and you should know where t problem lies if you're not blinded by love.

2009-04-14T19:04:00.002+08:00

Fool-ed by his acts.

I was leading my life, fine w/o you. Why do I have to bother to tag you back each time you try to create a big hoo-ha in my blog? Do you even know what basic respect is? If you dont respect me, its alright. But for god-damn sake, respect yourself !

You're a smart girl, just that you're very naive. People can just bring you into another land w their honey-ed talk(s), exactly like what xhai did. Had you ever asked yourself this question, after running w him for so long, had he ever done anything that actually helps you?

To be honest w you, I was fool-ed by him. I really was! You know how bad I was affected by ice, you know it yourself. What kind of life did I lead for t past 3weeks when I was w X.hai? I was taking drugs like my meal(s), I was thinking of ways to help him con people for $$. I thought that t friendship shared between me&x.hai was so genuine that I helped him regarding t loan shark thing. What was t outcome? I was betrayed by this bloody bastard boyf of yours.

Do you know that Laosu&I was so happy for you when your mum caught you? Because we know you're safe in your mum's hands! Nobody would want to send you to girls home if you're willing to change. Girl, you had been running for so long and since t day you went missing, your mother had been looking for you. What about me? My mum couldnt even bother to find out my handph number to give me a call, till I was admitt-ed to TTSH last friday.

You're old enough to start planning for your future, if not for xhai, I'am still preparing for my O(s), and wont have to be so tired everyday. All thanks to your boyf, and its a lesson learnt ! I paid a price for it, and it was a rather heavy one. I dont want to see you end up returning home only after being made use of. You're smart enough to think ok.

14 more days to my 17th birthday! :D

Baby, imissyou. i really do.

Wheres' my Linqx ?!

Anw, i'am getting myself occupied w job(s),and wont be able to keep in contact w much people! Sorry, but will try my best to contact you people real soon! :D LOVE

2009-04-14T18:18:00.003+08:00

13 Apr 09, 15:21t-boy: WOW nice song! wat the title?

My songs're random, so I dontknow which on you're implying.
13 Apr 09, 10:43/:: heys , don't keep jio ppl come down amk for free , you think you very eh sai sibo ! don't let me see you in amk then . hopefully you don't see me !

AMK my place, you huan lo? Eh, dont be a nameless dog lah. Talk until so eh-sai, leave your name lah. Nabei, not happy give me a call.
12 Apr 09, 16:41T.HuiMin: I going back ler darling . Next week uh , love you .

Okay, seeyou next week too! iloveyou.
12 Apr 09, 02:01Daphne: Xiaohai is CHAO ppl. Did you know this earlier already?

It doesnt matters if he's which side's people, bcause he doesnt even have t guts to come out. Humans like him should just bang t wall and die.
12 Apr 09, 01:13Star: Hello keai , relink please . Love you .

Okay! Loveyou too. :D
12 Apr 09, 00:39T.HuiMin: Haiyo ! i also dun want to care , i only really hate to see you two like this . UNDERSTAND !
12 Apr 09, 00:39T.HuiMin: Darling darling . I Made a new blog , link me ok . love

Darling, this is none of your business so dontcare so much. Hahah, you never leave me your url how I link? You think I wish to see things going this way meh? Hais.

2009-04-11T20:57:00.002+08:00

11 Apr 09, 19:07Darren: anw link me up
11 Apr 09, 19:03Darren: hello . meet up soon tc

Sure, no problem! Loveeeeeeeee.
11 Apr 09, 13:56Daphne: Any news or sightings of him, let us know immediately.
11 Apr 09, 13:52Daphne: Xhai's real name : Eric Koh Hai Leong / Wei Liang

Thanks, I will let you know de.
11 Apr 09, 11:59T.HuiMin: please lar , i dunknow what really happen . but i dun wish to see you two like that ..
11 Apr 09, 11:59T.HuiMin: stop all this rubbish , talk it out . end the fight with peace . can ? )x

Darling, this have got nothing to do w you, dont care so much.
11 Apr 09, 02:27Donovan: SH!TSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
11 Apr 09, 02:27Donovan: jai er get a life la , i dun wanna say you, but when u do things and say very big use your brains arr? not use your backside to think , u dun wan spam ? wad are u doing now? the tag box is so full of

Fxckcare her lah. brainless dog .
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7 Apr 09, 18:04Jiaer: angkong sard ki ah ? kns... dont need hao lian write in your blog one la . write so much for fxck. wait till u put thn say . think my angkong can teh urs already la . kns.
7 Apr 09, 18:01Jiaer: i got no time to spam ur disgusting blog la . see ur face i want puke bohdohh. pig face. i only see u write s many lanjiao wei , time come tag ur blog la .
7 Apr 09, 18:00Jiaer: patch with laosu ma ~ well done (: perfect match siol.
7 Apr 09, 17:59Jiaer: waa... angkong sia . ji scared wor. knn what we humji? nvm.. u wait nia hor .. like i said , after everything get better, i sure go find u.
7 Apr 09, 17:54jiaer: slowly find ah ~ enjoy . but let me tell u first , i wont come out is cos of xhai.. i know i come out , everybody will get him easily. but once everything settle and get well. i'll be back (:
7 Apr 09, 17:52jiaer: waaaa... whee uh weets . 21tiong siol ~ sard sard sia. scared scared ): i dont care who the fxck looking for xhai la hor . why must we come out ? u all so sard,so eh sai... ownself come find us la

Let me make this clear w you, nobody is free to entertain you. I patch w who, none of your business. Save your comments to yourself. When things're clear then you come find me? Swee lah Jiaer, I Bell wait for you. AMK anytime welcome you lah hor. Now, this thing've got nothing to do w you, is xhai's problem. You want chup into this thing right? I on you lah hor. EH, nobody ask you about your tattoo lah. Go Upper Serangoon put de right? Think I dontknow? For all of your information, KWAN BEESHI & I'VE CLEARED OUR MISUNDERSTANDINGS! Get your fxcking useless humji doggie boyf to pay xiaobee's $100 lah hor. People pity him, lend him money then he likethat reciprocrate? who teach him de? His mother or father? PIG? You calling yourself or your boyf? Let me tell you this, Laosu&I really pity you ALOT. Really, this type of shxt you also want kio ? Even thou laosu is not rich, at least he doesnt cheats around to get $$. He's hardworking and willing to change his bad habits just for me! You know something? Everybody is calling you a PLK, make sure you dont do stuff that really proves you're ok. No matter how pretty your tattoo may be, but its disgusted because you used dirty money to pay for it ! Tell your boyf what I've said, he unhappy or what then say. Anything get from xiaobee my number, I doubt you guys would even contact her right? I, Always Standing Tall, wait for you. Cut your craps on my blog, stop coming here to spam. Bloody ironic dumb fxck!
5 Apr 09, 20:01liinqx: LOLS =) i'm here ma. hahah =) misses

Linqx! Thought you coming singapore?

Look, this stupid fool is back here whinning on my blog upon her old grandma story again. I had enough of your nonsense, Jiaer. You want to continue spam, go ahead. Bcause I know thats t only thing you're capable of. Everyone is looking for your doggie boyf, be it t police or gangsters. Tell me now, how long or how far can you people continue run? Unless people find Xhai, orelse this problem will never be solved. Both Xiaobee&I know that its your doggie boyf's mouth that seperated us. That simply applies to both our situation. Continue stay by his side, when he kick you aside. thats when you realise you're left w nothing. The only person that will stand by you, is your mother. You're sucha heartless girl, your god-grandpa passed away YET, you didnt attend his wake. Your mother was admitted to t hospital because she was fxcking worried about you, got herself sick but yet all you could say was takecare. Get married w Xhai, when you gift birth and your kids grow up. They'll be like you bcause what goes around, comes around. And, thank your boyf on me&Laosu's behalf. If not because of him, Laosu&I wont get together, if not because of him, I wont have what I have today in AMK. Thankyou both very much, when I see you. I will give you a bigggggggggggg present. :D Let me get this clear w you, AGAIN! Since you've said that you will come find me, then I will wait for you. Dont come back and spam, call me when you're ready. I Always Standing Tall, waiting for you& t doggie boyf of yours!

I'am down w asthma, will blog again when I'am free & well.

How pathetic can someone get?

Stop talking w/o using t dumb brains of yours to think, oh* I'am sorry. I forgotten that your dumb brains is too dumb to even comprehen what you're implying.

Goodluck to you&t doggie boyf of yours.

Thanks for leaving Laosu, I feel so fortunate to have him w me.

My Laosu doesnt cheats around like your doggie boyf to get $$.

My Laosu is hardworking enough to get himself a job, unlike yours.

My Laosu doesnt make me do stunts to get money, and he supports me financially.

My Laosu donthave to avoid places that his enemies will be at.

My Laosu not so gian song like your xhai, let me tell you this! Laosu

2009-04-05T18:37:00.002+08:00

please get your facts all right before you anyhow talk ok. You know you super childish not? You want to find problem but you dontwant to come out? Then keep fabric tales to other people about me, wanting other people to hate me? Hate me for all I care, I dont need you peoples' love to survive. As long as I dont do anything to've got to do w my conscience, i'am ok! Do you even know that almost everyone in Singapore is looking for your bloody nabei kanasai boyf xhai? He wants to be famous right, t fact is that he already is very famous! Everyone is asking about Xhai, some people even pay others $$ to find that bastard boyf of yours! NOW, THIS IS WHAT I CALL KA LANJIAOWEI! I not only ka his lanjiaowei behind him, but also infront of you&him. WHY? not happy ar? Come find me lah, or you want to help him ka mine back? Please lah, his so called " lighter can drop, tittle cannot drop" make me puke man. This crap is he teach one, but he's not doing it. You all want, you all come. Stop spamming my blog or whatsoever, i can easily tag back. IF you guys have t guts, just come. You've so many excuses, what no time to entertain me but t fact is just that your boyf xhai is a hum-ji doggie. This problem is between me,you,xhai&laosu so if you guys dare, so come out we 4person settle. DONT NEED TO DRAG OTHERS IN ! I'am Always Standing Tall waiting for you. -.- shxtty you

Sorry to all readers who've been reading my blog. Some people're just trying to mess up my blog but I hope it wont affect you people. :D

Regarding my previous post, about issue #o1 --

I broke up w ahwei and he've patch-ed back w Xiaoyan. :D & we're still friends and xiaoyan&my relationship've improved. I set aside my relationship problem w Ahwei for my girls and they really matter alot to me. :D

Regarding issue#o2 --

Laosu dont allow me to work at pub, no boyf(s) would want their girlf(s) to work there right? And yes, Laosu & I've patch-ed back. AND, I dontcare what others will be saying lah okay. Same word, not happy you all come. we 21tiong ppl wait for you all.

Regarding issue #o3 --

Ran surrendered, and I guess Russell&Lester've both replaced t importance of him in my heart. Xinyi, Kelly,Rachelle,Denise,Yeetong,Clarice all matters to me. As much as Huimin, precious, Sharon, my brothers -- Alex,Kaijie,Yichao, my buddy - Shaun. All matters alot to me, but still Laosu matters alot more. =x You guys should be happy that finally I'am taking a relationship seriously ok! Hahaha, dont jealous .

Regarding issue #o4 --

Sadly, mickeymouse restaurant closed down! :( Still, I do not have any thing in mind, please suggest? HAHAHA. 24more days to go! :D

Issue #O5 --

I want to buy manymany stuff lah!

1. Samsung F480 (Gold/pink)

2. Mango top(s) ! Not the one w printing on it.

3. Bebe's top!

Haiyah, many stuff lah! When my birthdays' coming will inform you people again. :D

Issue #o6 --

I've got a new tattoo alrd! :D

BELL on my wrist .

The next tattoo will be on my thigh :D

3rd tattoo will be along my chest, near my bones.

4th tattoo will be on my back. :D

Then nomore tattoos! :D

dear, i'am thankful for having you in my life. With you by my side, I've never sense insecurities ever. Before you always cheer me up, despite how stress I can get still I know you'll stand by me. I'am sorry for not being able to be there as much as you can when I need you. Thanks for always tolerating my nonsense, allowing me to bite you, to scold you when I'am vex-ed. And not scolding me when you're pissed w me. It seems like i'am always t one showing attitude, and you're t one tolerating. iloveyou baby, thanks! :D

And to those who've been there -- Thankyou for standing by me despite t huge change in me. iloveyou people manymany too lah! :D

wheres' my buddy, linqx, darling ??

imissyou people loads lahhhhhhh nabei!

2009-04-05T18:24:00.002+08:00

4 Apr 09, 14:25Sora: oh yea u havent sms me ur number how can like TAT!!!!
4 Apr 09, 14:22Sora: haha kk i relink u le =p

Sorry. I didnt manage to check my blog.
2 Apr 09, 15:01Jiaer: u no name ah ? knn , i never play one la hor. why ?

Eh! you want you come find me directly okay. Stop finding me on internet, get my number from your Jackie lah. He've got it, you know where I play what. Your xhai very ehsai mah, so many people call me to find him. Tell him, I not so free to help him to entertain them, if he do nothing wrong scared what? NABEI, who hum ji now? You all or me? Nabei, you want you come, dontwant then just fxck-off !
30 Mar 09, 19:04Daphne: coz u r his only grand daughter now.
30 Mar 09, 19:03Daphne: it's fated u still have a chance to see him one last time. Ur mum wants u to be back for the funeral too coz po po doesn't know u're MIA. If u don't attend the funeral, she will ask questions coz u r
30 Mar 09, 19:03Daphne: Cheryl, ur god-grandfather gonna be pulled the plug soon. By right was supp to be this afternoon but ur grandaunt said she saw his leg move, ask docs to wait.

Er, you should be telling her that on her blog lah. www.jiaaaer.blogspot.com
29 Mar 09, 18:18passer: then passerby, you play whr th? kp so much k@m l@n la? dont even dare put name.

You kaobei lah hor, you also never put name! Nabei, you should know where I play one, you not happy you come.
29 Mar 09, 14:20passerby-jiaer: u play whr de kaobei so much for wad?

Haiyah. she never play one lah, kns. You're? :D

27 Mar 09, 16:44Jiaer: want catch us ? slowly find k (:

Nobody is interested in wasting their time finding for you guys, you slowly run lah.
27 Mar 09, 16:44Jiaer: btw, u say i go my own way , u go ur own way . thn u still bring ahbao,devil,laosu so big group come xhai house downstair for fxck? pls , we not stupid la hor.

Eh, tell your boyf I not so free bring ahbao,devil, laosu and one big group go his house lah. We paikia never play until ppl hse de. AND, I dontknow wheres' his house lah, only know he stay near beach road lah. Tell him dont play ice until likethat lah.
27 Mar 09, 16:43Jiaer: eh, dont anyhow use my name la hor . cb .

You think you who, lee kuanyew's daughter ar? Use your name? Fxckyour name bodoh.
27 Mar 09, 13:08jiaer: heard from many people you ka my lan jiao wei ar?pls la **** off

Eh nabei cheebye lah hor, not happy you come. You hear ppl say? Knn, got ppl say you're plk, you're my dog leh. I also got hear you ka my lan jiao wei. You not happy just come lah fxck.
26 Mar 09, 21:06passerby: hey pretty, the mickey mouse restaurant you mention is it at anchorpoint? near alexandra road. if yes, the shop had already been closed down

Ohdear, :( I cant celebrate there anymore!
26 Mar 09, 21:00pb: what your song ?

There're many songs shuffling and, which one're you implying?

2009-03-25T18:52:00.002+08:00

24 Mar 09, 04:05♥Berlicial♥: LOL ! okayokay.
23 Mar 09, 18:34Donovan: my link =]

Okokay, will relink you soon! :D
23 Mar 09, 10:02MBL: Forever 21 instocks - visit http://mightbelove.livejournal.com for more! (:
23 Mar 09, 02:44Darren: link me ^^

Haiyoh, will link soon! :D
22 Mar 09, 22:34JAFNA ^^: Hello , want marry liao ah . So young hahaha . LAST LONG

Nope, not planning to already. :D Read t latest post.
22 Mar 09, 21:40Eileen: Ehs, why getting married sia? Rmb to invite me & ming. LOLS. I'll get it from Sharon tml de (: Miss you.

Not getting married already. Will invite you guys duh, :D ! Alright, text me soon then.

Issue #01.

God knows what had been happening recently, upteem disappointments I face. Everyday, different problems just pop(s) out from no-where. Yes, my buddies,bestf(s),brother(s) still stood by me despite of what circumstances. But, I guess I need a break.

IF you were me, within just a day, you found out that your boy had love bite(s) on his neck, what would you do? Obviously t love bite(s) wasnt from you, and you clearly knows that it was from his ex-girlf. What would you have done? How would've felt?

what I did was, keeping my cool for t whole day. Told him I wanted to go home, and argue-d thru text. His answer was that his ex-girlf met him, (w/o my adknowledgement) and she was drunk. Fxck this lame, w/o logic's answer.

You question-ed him, ask him if who he loves. He told you that he loves t both of you, but didnt know who to keep by his side. He want someone who would last long w him, he want someone to wait for him, even after he goes in army and stuff. He want someone that will stay by his side forever, what would your answer to him be?

My answer was, I would have waited if all this didnt happen. I cant accept my another half, doing all this shxt behind my back. Despite t fact that he did ask for forgiveness, but I doubt I can accept it. I cant accept being hugged by t pair of hands that had been hugging a few hours ago. I cant accept t fact that my boyf had been shared w another girl a few hours ago. Even w his assurance that they did nothing, I cant accept it. I'am so noble to accept this shxt, furthermore I had enough of being tied down. Not being able to meet up w my guy-friends, not being able to stuff that I had always been. I CAN'T .

Issue #o2.

Lester is my new buddy, and he've intro me a job as waitress at She Bang (a pub), they offer me $13 per hour+commission, weekly pay. BUT, I'am not sure if I would take t job or not. I ought to find a job asap, I'am running out of case already ! :(

Issue #o3.

Ran had been getting on my nerves lately. Something happen-ed to him, and he's getting dumb-er as day passes by. I dont understand why I cant stop myself from being concern about him.. After all we had been brothers&sisters for god-damn 7th years. Okay, I had been crying for t past 2days for him... I miss my big brother, I miss nagging at someone. WELL, 28th April would be t 6th month he disown me.. and its just a day before my 17th birthday.

Issue #o4.

Russell & I made things up and we're back like t past. :D Yeappppps!

Issue #o5.

I have 3 suggestion upon celebrating my 17th birthday! :D

1. Bbq at Pasir ris park, inviting all friends along!

2. Going to a quiet ktv or pub for a drink w close friends.

3. Going to Alexandra Road, Mickeymouse restaurant to celebrate w friends! :D

Suggestion(s) anyone?

Obviously you wont be t guy whom I would want to marry or last long w. Once bitten, twice shy. I would not be so dumb as to believe in your craps anymore. the first time in my life, something like this happen. I cant believe that you would think that I'am that dumb. Sigh.. I dontknow what to do. All I ask from you right now, is to leave me alone. I think I had enough of all this crap.

The fact that I cant stop myself from missing Ran, I cant stop myself from being concern about him clearly shows how much he really matters in my heart. Kor, I miss you. I really do.

2009-03-22T20:40:00.002+08:00

22 Mar 09, 00:02Jiaer: what past is the past . i dont wanna talk about it . Blissfully attached to Ahwei? good for u then , last long .

Yes, its t past already. Good luck to you then, its your life right? So is this, my life. :D
22 Mar 09, 00:01Jiaer: & thanks for looking for me High and Low . & i know u dote on me like how u dote on huimin . i believe theres many misunderstanding between us . & i've no intention to sort it out either .

Donthave to sort out anything, AT ALL. You lead your life, and I lead mine. I'am sure we're not accountable to one anothers' life right?
21 Mar 09, 23:59Jiaer: i got the guts to go home , im not going home bcos, 1st i got my own reason , 2nd is to acc my boy . anything wrong with that ?

I dontcare, thats your life.
21 Mar 09, 23:58Jiaer: many ppl say Yeetong & adeline from sgss under u . u even help them pueh daiji with jackie they all . go ask around urself.

I know about it, thanks anyway.
21 Mar 09, 23:53Jiaer: & im not so free to get ppl to spam ur blog . i dont do such rubiish . i tag ppl blog with my own NAME. & i didnt get u down to bugis either . bugis also not my zai dui , ask u go bugis for fxcK ?

Hah, god knows what you're thinking?
21 Mar 09, 23:52Jiaer: so what if he's much older thn me ? at least he's not like laosu. look so fxcking old uncle.

That aint my problem anymore.

I dont have t rights to care about your life, neither do you have t rights to judge my life. Yes, there may be many misunderstandings between me&your clique of friends. Even your boy, or xiaobee but its not important anymore. You guys dont need me in your life, neither do I need you people. I'am very happy w my life right now, despite t fact that I'am no longer w you people or no longer on drugs but I've Ahwei, my girls & my brothers. I feel much more appreciated by them, compared to t times when I'am w you people. I'am not implying that you guys aint good enough for me, or whatsoever. I just wish t best for all of you, if we really're true friends, i believe one day when time has past and our wounds're heal-ed, then we'll be back as normal. Or perhaps like t past, how we love&value one another. Afterall, we been thru quite alot together before, but SO? This is life, and this is what I've gone thru. I learn from my experience. Speaking from t bottom of my heart, I dont hate any of you. BUT, i hate what you people did to me. I really treasured you guys alot at that point of time, and you guys would just listen to your hearts, instead of listening to how I felt, the reasons for me doing stuff. Fxck, forget it. ALL T BEST FOR YOU GUYS, :D

21 Mar 09, 20:04liinqx: lols
21 Mar 09, 20:04liinqx: ILOVESYOU girl =)

I love you too girl ! Seeyou soon . :D
21 Mar 09, 15:10Donovan: here's my link jie !!

Hah, will relink you and edit blogskin soon! :D

Thanks to those who've been concern about me, who've been reading my blog silently but forever texting me asking me about life. I'll get a chance to meet all of you, once I settle down. Perhaps very soon, you guys would be hearing me getting married? HAH. Alot of plannings've been made last min, things happened too fast and I dont get a chance to catch my breath ! But still, I'am thankful and happy that at least alot of people stood by me, despite of everything I've done. A MILLION THANKS, I LOVE YOU GUYS SO!!!!! :D

I've changed my handph number again, will update those that have not been updated! Send me message thru Friendster for my number. Or add me on msn, slowly wait for me to get online, LOL. my-complicatedfeelings@live.com.sg

2009-03-21T14:58:00.003+08:00

ALL TAGS WILL BE REPLIED THRU BLOG POST, NOT ABLE TO UPDATE AS OFTEN! OFTEN MY DEAREST WILL CHECK MY BLOG FOR ME, AND ALSO REPLY SOME TAGS. BUT I REPLY TAGS W MUCH MORE DETAILS WHEN I'VE TIME.

Meanwhile, stay tune babes! :D

Ah Siao: YOAHYO! **** u la.last time i c amk have 1..but now see u all tis kind of small meimei,make until i c amk Bo Eh la.dont make ur Logo xiasuey not happy come down pasir ris we yoahyo ppl all wait for u
See amk boeh? You ehsai, keep to yourself. None of your business dont kpo, I this few days had been at Coasta sands chalet leh, keep walking around E! Hub but never see any of you. Stop being a fool lah, act so much on internet for? Dont step power lah.
Eileen: Keep me updated about your new number girl. Miss you trucks lot. Quick quick. Haiyohs, why keep whining behind the com sia.
Yeah, young punks I call them. Leave them alone, they will soon find themself childish doing all this shxt ! Hahaha, will contact you soon babe! Or you get my number from Sharon, let her know is I ask her give you de. :D
18 Mar 09, 20:16liinqx: they all so so damn ****ing dumb de lo . hmmm , call them to go down amk jiu call u goes bugis . HUMJI de laa , scared laa . their balls all stuck at their house liao laa . stupide humji doggy .
18 Mar 09, 20:14liinqx: haas , girl some body don understand de leihs .
Yeah, YOUNG PUNKS. singapore so small, so easy to get my number. I Mabel not nobody know one somemore, useless shxt. Donthave name, still come step power.
18 Mar 09, 15:12Yo ar Yo: Cb,Bugis also not fake de lah.Wuji come down bugis try one round.Humji dog,your balls all stuck on your throat lah hor.Bui kan,don step one very eh seh lah hor,UNDERSTAND?Dog
I had been going to Bugis recently. Didnt get to see you people on show. Why not you come AMK? But, I'am not so free to entertain kids like you. Furthermore, stop acting like you very ehsai on internet. I also know how to act, you ehsai then keep to yourself ok. Hahah, dont you fxcking have a name? LOL.
18 Mar 09, 13:23Fuquan: hi~.waa u look so fierce.btw tag
I'am very friendly de. :D
17 Mar 09, 15:34LIRONG: girl, :D
i miss you sweetheart ! Seeyou soon! :D
15 Mar 09, 02:58♥Berlicial♥: Mabel , is it you tag me ?
Yeah, other than me, who's called Bell?
14 Mar 09, 21:50Eileen: Then you still got my number anot? Don't have jiu take from Sharon. (: Why your tagboard like this?! Why they only whine behind the com? Haiyohs I MISS YOU ANYWAY.
Hahs, will contact you real soon girl! Missyou too babe. :D